Do you know any good hangover cures?
For certain! In case of need mix one part of tequila, two parts of fruit drink and some margarine. Apply the resulting elixir on your legs and your ankles.
Indiana Jones, Lara Croft or Professor Layton?
I don't know, I guess they were all very good in that play.
Your line of work is often stressful. How do you face it?
To steel my soul, I periodically meditate on a bunk made of rough sandpaper and nails generously dusted with vinegar.
Do you ever Google yourself?
Say every three hours. But lately Google often asks "Did you mean Lucy Lywless", who apperently is a former landscape architect from Denver. That's quite discouraging, but not as much worrisome as finding that according to Yahoo my name is similar to a shocking insult in Turkish.
What have you got in your pocket?
Crud! This is a tricky one. Since this interview is a fabrication of your mischievous mind, I'm in my enticing undies, so no pockets at all.
Don't you think it is time you write an autobiography?
Indeed! It is unlucky that I have little time, if any, to put down the words. Last month I've read the inside flap of "The Great Gatsby", and I found it quite passable. On that account, I told my agent to pay a visit to the author - a certain F. Scott Fitzgerald - since I need a ghost writer so badly, but for the moment I've not received any answer.
In an essay appeared on Transactions on Engineering Insight, prof. Frank E. Morgan described your movies as "a perfect epitome of today symbolic behaviorism". Anything to add?
It is clear that in his last article published on Russian Annals of Sociological Criticism, dr. Charles S. Rogers utterly refuted that illogical theory.
If there was another movie produced about your life, who do you think should play you, and why?
According to my agent, Angelina Jolie. We were in the same book club when our partners were away.
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