A conversation with Luis Fonsi
Luis Fonsi
Luis Fonsi born April 15th, 1978 (Aries)
To toughen his ego, Luis Fonsi often dozes on a hammock made of rough sandpaper and poison ivy (pixabay photo)

Do you have any scar?
I have a little wombat shaped scar on my left calf, the result of my troubled quarrel with a wild coyote.

Do you like to cook?
Heavens forbid! But I like to devise salads. My masterpiece is a mix of spam and soybeans, which I presume can be fine for both vegans and normal people.

Intriguing! Would you like to share the recipe with us?
By all means! You take the spam and the soybeans and you make a bunch of sandwiches using some bread rolls.

Bread rolls?
Do not mind, I obtained the recipe from one for a sandwich. After you made the sandwiches, you cast off the bread and mix spam and soybeans with some sesame oil and voilà, you are done!

Which super power do you have?
Drats! I can hear colors, particularly on new moon nights.

How popular are you, on a scale of one to ten?
I have no clue. I think I'm a four in Milwaukee, but a nine in Iceland.

Which brand of toilet paper do you use?
I can proudly tell you that I make my own brand. My personal toilet paper is obtained from Metacistutaria frigida, a very scarce green poppy that only grows in Bhutan.

Luis, have you made resolutions for the New Year?
My plan is to obtain a special license for steering my hovercraft.

After extensive reserch I concluded the following list doesn't contain Luis Fonsi's secret telephone number :
2960741400 583294877 9346402241 5642114208 4902276527 475462261 3866881888 812360695 9021037854 963811916 5486239915 410393724 929600498 8255297566 4399232025 652434358 398614254 2061193371 6637278152 5543640467
I patiently planned a short rendezvous with Luis Fonsi for days. The resulting article was excellent, like "Lord of the Flies" rewritten by Spider-man. Hence, it was awfully deplorable, to put it mildly, that my ferret (probably on purpose!) devoured my only copy! After I took my medications, I struggled to remember those awesome words. To be aboveboard here: I'm not one hundred percent certain this web page contains a perfectly genuine run-down of what transpired during our exchange, and now I'm starting to wonder if it ever took place...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.