An interview with Luke Evans
Luke Evans
Luke Evans born April 15th, 1979 (Aries)
On account of a freak accident happened to his uncle, Luke Evans has acquired an irrational phobia for Smurfs and a rational one for clowns (source)

Luke, which is your favorite fruit?
It is called "Luke's marvel". In the middle of one of my researches in the Borneo jungle, I uncovered a little unknown shrub, now named Pilospella barbata, which every 5 years blooms and produces fruits whose taste reminds of apples and margarine. You have to be very rich even to find it bizarre...

Your work is often stressful. How do you face it?
To toughen my character, I frequently meditate on a bunk made of thorns.

Do people yell your name and ask for autographs everywhere you go?
Yep! I'm like a drug, a Godsent one, for most of the people. My power is that I'm global: I'm known to elate illustrious tycoons and common rodent exterminators in the same manner. Say, there are 14 avenues with my name in three different countries, not counting Bhutan and Brobdingnag, which I did not know they were countries.

Do you do your own shopping?
I would love to, but I'm too occupied doing very paramount things for all the people and I can't care about such trifles. Usually, I have a squad of shopping gurus to compile my grocery list and pass it along to a group of pro buyers distributed around the world. For the garbs, I ever employ a squad of surrogates, one for each body part.

Which super power do you have?
Not a secret! Slimming fast, since I was 6, but only on full moon nights. Probably this is not so uncommon in tall people with Celtic neighbors.

Luke, you are always in tip-top condition. How do you do that?
I have devised the Blue Diet: in May I eat only blue foods, like blueberries, blue Smarties, robin's eggs and blue jays died by natural causes.

Your zodiac sign is Aries. May I read you your horoscope?
As you want, but I don't believe in zodiacal lunacy.

You have gathered a great deal of discontent inside you that can pour out savagely at any moment. You will get rid of this state only if you forgive or destroy somebody who has angered you in the past.
Dear me! That's impressive!

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Luke Evans' private telephone number :
2396390746 7269110200 6843691926 2815075326 568554822 5742541565 437990073 9871616989 2838158596 2311716354 7289030669 6344954522 5446621599 237350053 6868702550 401723017 6487832995 8457466301 5826955485 311455984
To be sincere, my boss had patiently planned my exchange with Luke Evans many weeks beforehand. Regrettably, I got stoned watching a rerun of "Next". So, this web page is essentially based on what Luke Evans would have probably said if I have met him, as indicated by a telephonic poll involving a couple of random people.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.