A conversation with Luke Hemmings
Luke Hemmings
Luke Hemmings born July 16th, 1996 (Cancer)
The next release from Luke Hemmings will be a vinyl-only album of eurodance covers of Ray Charles greatest hits, sung in Maori, Esperanto and Finnish (pixabay photo)

You seem to be always so chirpy and positive. Do you also have a dark side?
I do. I think that every person has a dark side. At times, when I bump into another artist, irritation darkens my soul and my sight fades out. And suddenly, I fight the urge to expunge that dimwit from the earth and jump on his desecrate tomb. That is my amiable side... I let you imagine how my dark side is.

Luke, is there a deep moral behind your "She Looks So Perfect"?
Yes, that people regret the things they didn’t do - or something like that.

Who are your heroes?
Douglas (the less-known uncle of Nikola Tesla), Harry Potter, and myself.

What's your favorite vice?
I watch really lame videos on YouTube. Well, maybe you are going to judge me for that, but another vice of mine is not giving a shit.

Imagine that there is somebody in a remote place of the world who'd never heard your songs. How would you describe your songs to him?
Well, I've heard there are one or two such guys in the Bible Belt or in Bhutan. As my fans often say, my music is like a fragrant vanilla cake with a stunning heart of sausages.

What are you working about?
I'm writing the music score for a sequel of "Big Top Pee-Wee", a little gem whose meaning has not been fully acknowledged.

Do you have any scar?
Naturally! I have a tiny scorpion shaped scar on my left heel, the result of my problematic encounter with a deranged chipmunk.

Luke, do you like ocelots?

Why you do not like ocelots, if I may ask?
Actually, they stink! And one ocelot bite my cousin's funny parts. That was one of the reasons I become an artist, so I may reconsider my opinion about ocelots.

After extensive reserch I concluded the following list doesn't contain Luke Hemmings' secret telephone number :
5074587123 5467950013 3666315112 801171672 8394113369 8420387337 3325658226 961496617 7551061726 974697730 849359292 7083235458 9895767456 3227449349 604820176 5298012850 917612132 9393676666 6569906696 318011809
To be frank, my boss had patiently set up my short interview with Luke Hemmings months beforehand. Unfortunately, I got stoned watching the DVD of "Nothing but Trouble". So, the transcript above is essentially based on what Luke Hemmings would have probably answered if I have met him, as suggested by a statistics involving a couple of his fans.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.