An interview with Marisa Tomei
Marisa Tomei
Marisa Tomei born December 4th, 1964 (Sagittarius)
In her secret grotto Marisa Tomei is bravely searching a way to turn lint into peanut butter (pixabay photo)

I'm here tonight with Marisa Tomei, who just survived the mammoth task of her last movie. Hi, Marisa, and welcome to Stuff Your Brain Doesn't Need.
It's a pleasure being here, essentially because your building is next to a falafel joint I dig a lot.

Are you aware of the rumors about you and the elevator appearing in your last movie?
Holy moly! It wasn't my fault, and whatever gossip you heard about it has certainly been overemphasized by the scandalistic press.

How popular are you, on a scale of one to ten?
I forgot the statistics. Probably, I'm a three in Amazonas, but a ten in Denver.

Could you improvise a song for us.
I'll do! Here it is

Everthing you took away
You took away the respect,
you took the lust away from me.
A button, a scarf forgotten in a drawer
the tired vestiges of you.
You took away all that I had,
everything I care you took away,
so how come your mother is here to stay?

What is your take of the next Oscar quarreling?
Surely, this is a minefield.

What are your feelings about the current USA president?
I gave assurance to my niece I would not talk dirty openly again, so I'd pretend I did not understand your question.

I've heard you are about to publish a book. Would you like to share with us a few details?
The details on my forthcoming book will soon be printed in the book itself. What I can say now is that it will be my unauthorized autobiography. It will be tattoed on legs and foreheads of 900 models that will be set free in Ann Arbor.

Marisa, do you have something to say to your youngest fans?
Yes! Clinical research has proved that getting drunk like a Maine congressman may have undesirable consequences, like loss of taste or painful death. But quaver no more! Buy "Marisa's wonder", now with more Siphophylla clavata extracts. Just $39.99 for 100 pills, only in the best Bulgarian mom-and-pop stores (Disclaimer : Not actually a drug. It usually may cause alopecia or induce paranoia. Gluten-free. A pill contains 100% RDA of tar).

After extensive reserch I concluded the following list doesn't contain Marisa Tomei's private telephone number :
9705413656 8374411649 8044794114 2115160007 313624686 5758606375 4945668993 647266721 848112661 8916185837 7705021254 6523874103 7759684738 4675319857 4023702405 9186992110 2339171343 766241042 4979668055 7168643761
I patiently lined up a brief rendezvous with Marisa Tomei several months in advance. The resulting article was awesome, like "Fight Club" rewritten by Hellboy. Thus, it was highly regrettable that another inmate (maybe on purpose!) set my only copy on fire! After I sobered out, I attempted to recall those imposing words. To be frank here: I'm not so certain this web page is a perfectly accurate chronicle of what transpired during our interview, and so I'm starting to wonder if it actually took place...
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Donald Trump Zac Efron John Goodman Kristen Bell Mariah Carey Alexander SkarsgÄrd Vanessa Hudgens Vanessa Carlton Ricardo Montaner Megan Fox Amy Adams Ricky Martin Daniel Craig Matthew Goode Michelle Branch Lana Del Rey Laurie Holden Gillian Anderson Chubby Checker Andrea Riseborough
NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.