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A conversation with Mariska Hargitay
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Mariska Hargitay
Mariska Hargitay born January 23rd, 1964 (Aquarius)
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In her underground cave Mariska Hargitay is daringly trying fo find a cure for carbon monoxide poisoning in sheep (pixabay photo)

You are just back from a filming location in Tibet. How was your stay?
To be frank, I lived 2 full weeks in a Tibetan monastery before realizing it was not the Best Western hotel. On the bright side, I learnt to stun flies by staring at them.

Your work is often stressful. How do you face it?
To make my spirit tougher, I often take a siesta on a bunk made of fresh nettle.

Do you Google yourself often?
Say every day or so. But lately Google says "Including results for Mariska Hurgitay", who happens to be a former canvas goods fabricator from Indianapolis. That's quite dispiriting, but not as much upsetting as finding that according to Yahoo my name sounds like a horrible curse in Polish.

You are always so strapping. How do you do that?
I have devised the Blue Diet: in the month of December I eat nothing but blue foods, like blueberries, blue potatoes, robin's eggs and naturally deceased blue jays.

Do you know any good hangover cures?
Yes, here it is my guaranteed cure. In case of need mix three parts of whiskey, two parts of instant coffee and some salt and pepper. Gargle with the resulting concoction every 10 minutes for 3 hours.

Did you ever participated in a séance?
That's right! But just one time. It was a very tormented experience. Suddenly, the spirit of Steven Hawking appeared and certified that I'm probably the reincarnation of Friedrich Nietzsche's butcher.

Mariska, do you like cats?
I doubt it!

Why you do not like cats?
Actually, they stink! And one cat bite my uncle's leg. That was one of the reasons I become an actress, so I should reconsider my position on cats.

Mariska Hargitay refused to let me know her secret telephone number, but here is a list of random numbers you can dream about :
390995643 8511273250 2976779773 7958628420 664421989 5703758090 8574244867 5279048406 6962316421 563535825 7787952811 7623434067 244359432 6410397538 3996106400 2015514597 9114867986 2826410777 2172111068 5764532812
I patiently scheduled a little conversation with Mariska Hargitay several days in advance. The resulting interview was fantastic, like "The Old Man and the Sea" rewritten by Gandalf. Hence, it was deplorable, to put it mildly, that another inmate by accident (I hope!) shredded my only copy! After I showed vital signs again, I attempted to summon up those awesome words. So, to be straight, I'm not one hundred percent sure this web page contains an entirely accurate account of what transpired during our meeting, and I'm beginning to question whether it ever took place...
Other interviews worth checking:
Donald Trump Mary J. Blige Frank Grillo Luan Santana Olivia Thirlby Kelly Rowland Timothy Olyphant Joan Baez Mandy Patinkin Tiffany Jaimie Alexander Haley Bennett Tiffani Thiessen Gloria Gaynor Dannii Minogue Austin Mahone Robert Carlyle Carrie Fisher Angie Stone Jim Parsons
NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.