A talk with Mark Wahlberg
Mark Wahlberg
Mark Wahlberg born June 5th, 1971 (Gemini)
Keith P. Fisher, the new Mark Wahlberg's head of security, is constantly experimenting alternative methods to repel stalkers and maddening pursuers (pixabay photo)

Mark, which is your method for perpetual youth?
Only few know it is a daily bath in fresh cement.

Mark, you are well known for your peculiar requests when staying in hotels. Can you tell us why and maybe make an example of something you may ask?
Everybody should learn that Mark needs what Mark needs, and he always gets it. Whether it's baobab bark or deep-fried locusts.

What would you like to do right now?
Take a nap in the sun.

Mark, what do you think about president Donald Trump?
I'm somehow worried, since I heard that Trump wants to sculpt his portrait on the Moon surface with a super laser ray.

Can you share with us a memory of your role in "Boogie Nights"?
Fee-fi-fo-fum! The set was full of mites. They were coming outta the goddamn walls!.

Could you corroborate the gossip about your involvement in the shady incident of Sasquatch photos?
Curiosity killed the cat! You can't stand the truth!

When you were a little boy, did you see yourself as a professional actor?
Not no, but hell no! My mother and I decided that I would have become a sewer inspector. But, things don't always go as planned.

Mark, where did you go on your last break from work?
Last month I rented a gorgeous palace in a secretive valley of Benin. The payment included a drawbridge to protect my privacy and also a crowd of extras impersonating paparazzi.

I will not deceive you by falsely stating that Mark Wahlberg's private telephone number is listed here :
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To be sincere, my director had lined up my brief appointment with Mark Wahlberg many months beforehand. Unluckily, I realized at the last moment that I had better things to do, like cultivating lichens or visiting Canada. So, the interview above is mainly the recollection of a dream I had following a heavy dinner based on liver pâté and beans.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.