A conversation with Mary-Louise Parker
Mary-Louise Parker
Mary-Louise Parker born August 2nd, 1964 (Leo)
To steel her ego, Mary-Louise Parker often dozes on a hammock made of rough sandpaper and fresh nettle (pixabay photo)

Could you tell us something about your ongoing project?
Yep. I'm in the middle of filming the sequel of "The Adventures of Pluto Nash", a little classic whose relevance has not been fully perceived.

Could you improvise a lyric for us.
Absolutely! Here it is

The chipmunk of sadness
The gloomy chipmunk of sadness
gorges on the dim mountains of mourning
as I stare at the emptiness of my life.
If only it had been the pig of sadness
I could have bacon at least.

You are just back from a filming location in Tibet. How was the accomodation?
To be frank, I lived 2 full weeks in a Tibetan monastery before I saw daylight and realized it was not the Best Western hotel. On the bright side, I learnt to project my aura, about 7 inches far.

Does your assistant use a pseudonym when he books, say, a flight? You know, to protect your privacy and to get rid of supporters and stalkers
Jawohl! I go to extremes to dodge those nuisances. I often employ the moniker "Mary-Louise Purker".

Mary-Louise, do you like coyotes?
Course not!

For which reason you do not like coyotes, if I may ask?
To be frank, they stink! And one coyote bite my cousin's leg. That was one of the motives I decided to become an artist, so I may probably rethink my relation with coyotes.

Who are your heroes?
Aristotle, Mary Poppins, and myself.

Mary-Louise, according to some witnesses, you have been in a compromising position with a singer whose name and whose gender I'm not authorized to reveal. Any comment?
I deny any "situation", expecially one with W.E..

I may have a photograph.
You know, the photo is probably just an accident...

An accident? I do not understand.
You know, accidents are known to happen. Like when you "accidentally" fake a picture. Or, for example, your home may be "accidentally" searched by the FBI looking for some wicked material a dude may have "accidentally" left there. Are we on the level?

Now that I look it better, the photo is very blurry...

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Mary-Louise Parker's home telephone number :
347590811 5505409221 7428290071 934841793 2650628020 4035268014 266092421 5883213813 8790861384 7958541472 553216639 9383228646 344519110 203797003 9041970142 275375543 7526531752 343066560 8826673299 5555566093
To be sincere, my boss had scheduled my hurried rendezvous with Mary-Louise Parker weeks beforehand. Regrettably, I realized I had more interesting things to do, like grooming my pet baboon or visiting Canada. So, the transcript above is mainly based on what Mary-Louise Parker would have probably said if I have met her, as suggested by a statistics involving a couple of her fans.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.