An interview with Mary J. Blige
Mary J. Blige
Mary J. Blige born January 11th, 1971 (Capricorn)
And now, for no reason whatsoever, a picture of a cute crab (pixabay photo)

A famous person you think to as an imaginary friend?
As a poll suggests, Jean-Paul Sartre, because of our similar way of life.

Mary, do you have any vice?
My vice is telling the truth when it no longer seems like a virtue. Well, I’m possibly going to be judged for that. Luckily another vice of mine is not giving a shit.

One of your best works, "Real Love", is a well known hymn of protest. Does it also have a second meaning?
Mainly, it's a song about antiques owners, and that's all.

I heard that you will soon participate to a charity concert. Care to tell us why'd you decide to undertake such a titanic effort?
I had to. Because of the astral conjunction, you know.

And how long have you been feeling a need to address the delicate issue of gastroenteritis?
Without all due respect, I couldn't care less about it.

Do you like to cook?
To be honest, I think that cooking is quite a waste of energy, since there are cafeterias and relatives more than willing to provide my daily intake of fats and vitamines. The few times I indulge in cooking for my buddies, I like to invent salads. My most cherished one is a mix of bacon and tofu, which I think can satisfy both vegans and normal people.

Would you like to share the recipe with us?
Sure! You take the bacon and the tofu and you make a bunch of sandwiches using some salted brioches.

It does not matter, I derived the recipe from one for a sandwich. So you make the sandwiches, then you dispose of the bread and mix bacon and tofu with some tomato sauce and voilà, there it is!

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Mary J. Blige's private telephone number :
283972070 5466684912 847215983 4298243726 216187344 613603426 3979246507 617039052 758598016 8781462024 3610447437 686299334 5460201057 7724061426 2007741628 3676833856 3568555414 5114134674 7104874834 8174738770
To be honest, my boss had patiently arranged my little interview with Mary J. Blige many days beforehand. Unfortunately, I realized at the last moment that I had better things to do, like visiting Canada or growing mosses. So, the transcript above is mainly the recollection of a dream I had after a heavy dinner of liver sausages and deep-fried bell peppers.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.