A conversation with Matt Damon
Matt Damon
Matt Damon born October 8th, 1970 (Libra)
Writing his will, Matt Damon has stipulated that his ashes should be scattered on the planet Saturn, possibly by hand. (source)

We are here tonight with a special guest, Matt Damon, who just saw the birth of his last movie. Hi, Matt, and welcome to All My Celebrities.
It's a pleasure being here, your pleasure.

What do you have in your pockets?
I got a heap of money in my pockets. You can look at them, you can ever lick them, but they are mine, all mine. My preciouss roll of banknotes...

Have you ever participated in a séance?
Maybe! But just once. It was a very tormented experience. At a certain point, the spirit of Nicolaus Copernicus appeared and confirmed that I'm the reincarnation of a John D. Rockefeller's homonym.

You appear to be always so positive and effervescent. Do you also have a dark side?
I do. I think that everybody has a dark side. At times, when I face another actor, irritation darkens my soul and my vision blurs. And suddenly, I feel the need to delete his heckling smile. That is my bright side... I let you figure out how dark my dark side is.

Matt, do you like groundhogs?
Like hell!

Why you do not like groundhogs?
Actually, they stink! And one groundhog bite my grandpa's private parts. This is one of the reasons I decided to become an actor, so I may probably reconsider my relation with groundhogs.

Could you tell us which is your earliest memory?
I'm filming right now the ad for a new perfume called "My Earliest Memory", so I cannot speak about the subject without asking my agent.

I can't wait to buy that perfume.
I'll let you have a free sample so you can play with it.

Almost surely none of the following numbers are Matt Damon's private telephone number :
9795801147 5088454453 914806121 7039651044 8225622389 3666195008 9713037503 2736163991 7201661701 713734717 6573727764 2296156178 4575882599 6587563061 4767664631 3022817553 4464648074 9415458526 9786131479 8933043652
To be frank, my boss had patiently scheduled my talk with Matt Damon many weeks beforehand. Unluckily, I decided at the last moment that I had better things to do, like cultivating weeds or learning Bulgarian. So, this web page is mainly based on what Matt Damon would have probably answered if I have met him, as indicated by a telephonic poll involving a couple of random people.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.