Matthew, you seem to be always so joyful and vivacios. Do you also have a dark side?
It's difficult to admit it, but I do. I do believe that every person has two sides. For example, when I bump into another actor, my vision blurs and disgust makes my bones tingle. And suddenly, I feel a compulsion to seal those leering eyes for good. And then there is my dark side... You do not want to hear about it.
Matthew, which is your secret for perpetual youth?
Only few know it is an ablution with lukewarm unicorn blood once a month.
What do you have in your pockets?
A tricky question. Since this interview is a figment of your lascivious neurons, I'm totally au naturel, so no pockets at all.
When you were a little boy, did you see yourself as a professional actor?
Sadly no, and I still hope that, one day, I will get a real job.
Could you authenticate the gossip about your involvement in the incident of Kraken DNA samples?
Thou, saucy weather-bitten whey-face! How do you dare?
Matthew, do you have any vice?
Oversleeping is an issue so my team of technicians have devised an alarm clock that has hours of 45 minutes. Probably you are going to judge me for that. Luckily another vice of mine is I don't give a monkey's.
Can you tell me the square root of 2739897472?
I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.
If happiness were an animal, what would it be?
Surely a coyote. A large, fat, quiet coyote, well fed and somnolent in the shade of a large tree.
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