A talk with Matthew McConaughey
Matthew McConaughey
Matthew McConaughey born November 4th, 1969 (Scorpio)
Matthew McConaughey is currently composing a guide to choosing biographers, a monumental work soon to be released in daily instalments. (pixabay photo)

Have you ever participated in a séance?
Yep! It was a very tormented experience. At a certain point, the ghost of Alexander the Great appeared and established that almost surely I'm the reincarnation of Samuel Johnson's plumber.

Your work is often stressful. How do you face it?
To fortify my spirit, I periodically doze on a bunk made of thorns liberally peppered with vinegar.

Could you tell us something about the plot of your next movie?
Positively! The title of the film is "Donald, Laura and the monkey". Imagine a woman and a man, which live in Indianapolis, but they do not know each other. She is a fibrous plasterer while the man is a killer. When Laura's pet monkey Tarira got tennis elbow they meet at the vet and fall in love. Then they begin an adventurous journey to search for Hexaspenia parva (a rare tree which grows in Liberia only), whose roots can save the monkey.

Matthew, you have been seen in a compromising location with a star whose name I'm not authorized to reveal. Do you care to comment?
I deny any such "situation", expecially one with S.Y..

I may have a picture.
Well, the photo has surely appeared spontaneously...

Spontaneously? I do not understand.
You know, some wandering photons spontaneously originated an utterly random picture in which you wrongly recognized me. For example, given the right conditions, your father or your car may "spontaneously" catch fire. Capiche?

I think I've lost that (very unclear) picture anyway...
Are you aware of the rumors about you and the jackal appearing in your last movie?

Oh dear! How did you people find out!? It wasn't my fault, and whatever gossip you heard about it has been inflated by the journalists.

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Matthew McConaughey's home telephone number :
5120892522 7178462588 2677324084 4241853557 6713832363 325911165 4462114341 280802987 4962752241 653791015 9309088387 9269399164 402726392 234960875 8814049415 5455989959 9487620288 571778092 5345275882 6459065574
I scheduled a hurried rendezvous with Matthew McConaughey many days in advance. The resulting interview was excellent, like it was written by the ghost of Hemingway after too much rum. Thus, it was highly deplorable, to put it mildly, that another inmate set my only copy on fire! After I emerged from coma, I made an attempt to recollect those awe-inspiring words. To be frank here: I'm not one hundred percent sure this web page is an entirely precise chronicle of what transpired during our exchange, and now I'm starting to question whether it actually took place...
Other interviews worth checking:
Donald Trump Lena Headey Léa Seydoux Emily Mortimer Melissa Joan Hart Luke Hemmings Melissa Rauch Don McLean Jake Gyllenhaal Clark Gregg James Spader Idina Menzel Denzel Washington Joey King Petula Clark Vera Lynn Paulina Rubio Jamie Campbell Bower Ciara Bravo Jessica Chastain
NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.