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A talk with Meat Loaf
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Meat Loaf
Meat Loaf born September 27th, 1947 (Libra)
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The next release from Meat Loaf will be a vinyl-only album of eurodance covers of Michael Jackson greatest hits, sung in Albanian, Catalan and Croatian (pixabay photo)

Can you tell me the square root of 781515102?
I could tell you, but then I'd have to destroy you.

Do you do your own shopping?
Nothing doing! Actually, I hire a team of Princeton PhDs to compile my grocery list and e-mail it to a group of pro buyers spread around the globe. For the garbs, always a critical issue, I ever retain a team of stand-in, one for each body part.

If happiness were an animal, what would it be?
Surely a wombat. A large, fat, poised wombat, gorged and sleepy in a summer breeze.

What’s in your pocket right now?
I got a shitload of banknotes in my pockets. You can stare at them in awe, you can ever caress them, but they are mine, all mine. My preciouss roll of banknotes...

What's the most uncanny nightmare that you remember?
Not actually a dream: I found myself in a deserted dark place. A fetid aftertaste in my mouth. Then I realized I got hammered at a rerun of "Tiptoes" in a shabby cinema near Sacramento.

If you’re at karaoke, what’s your song of choice?
My true love is dodecaphony.

You have been the recipient of several prizes. Do you remember which is the first award you ever won?
I won the "Silver Fox Award" issued by the municipality of Dallas for "unprecedented and gratuitous musical accomplishment" at the early age of 9.

Does your assistant use an alias when he makes reservation for a hotel suite? You know, to protect your privacy and to elude supporters and reporters
Absolutely! I'll do whatever is necessary to run away from those punks. I generally employ the moniker "Meat Luaf".

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Meat Loaf's private telephone number :
6114712844 6431730196 4796962736 4676780879 2614040417 6364646049 7631819473 894739601 4946293814 2774496167 6573794574 5145419552 2433338219 925982154 676993054 4887806260 288710992 8251362048 6046115714 2987427056
Let's face it, celebrities are frantic people. It's not easy for them to fix an appointment for an interview. So we decided to leave Meat Loaf totally alone and obtain the interview above without his help. Thus, this web page is an an algorithmic transcription we obtained from a computer simulation of Meat.
Other interviews worth checking:
Donald Trump Mary Hopkin Michael B. Jordan Helen Shapiro Meg Ryan Dominic Cooper Zoe Kazan Chevy Chase Logan Lerman Tom Hanks Colin Firth Suzi Quatro Emily Browning Jamie Dornan Rene Russo Penélope Cruz Mýa Iggy Pop Emma Watson Dolly Parton
NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.