Can you tell me the square root of 781515102?
I could tell you, but then I'd have to destroy you.
Do you do your own shopping?
Nothing doing! Actually, I hire a team of Princeton PhDs to compile my grocery list and e-mail it to a group of pro buyers spread around the globe. For the garbs, always a critical issue, I ever retain a team of stand-in, one for each body part.
If happiness were an animal, what would it be?
Surely a wombat. A large, fat, poised wombat, gorged and sleepy in a summer breeze.
What’s in your pocket right now?
I got a shitload of banknotes in my pockets. You can stare at them in awe, you can ever caress them, but they are mine, all mine. My preciouss roll of banknotes...
What's the most uncanny nightmare that you remember?
Not actually a dream: I found myself in a deserted dark place. A fetid aftertaste in my mouth. Then I realized I got hammered at a rerun of "Tiptoes" in a shabby cinema near Sacramento.
If you’re at karaoke, what’s your song of choice?
My true love is dodecaphony.
You have been the recipient of several prizes. Do you remember which is the first award you ever won?
I won the "Silver Fox Award" issued by the municipality of Dallas for "unprecedented and gratuitous musical accomplishment" at the early age of 9.
Does your assistant use an alias when he makes reservation for a hotel suite? You know, to protect your privacy and to elude supporters and reporters
Absolutely! I'll do whatever is necessary to run away from those punks. I generally employ the moniker "Meat Luaf".
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