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A talk with Meat Loaf
Meat Loaf
Meat Loaf born September 27th, 1947 (Libra)
In the month of March Meat Loaf usually eats only blue foods, like blueberries, blue Smarties, blue potatoes and the so-called Smurf stew, whose recipe is an unsettling enigma we prefer to leave wrapped up in its mystery (source)

Who are your heroes?
Nicolaus Copernicus, Dr. Sheldon Cooper, and myself.

Which is the coolest flag in the world?
I think it is that of Matobo. If I'm not mistaken, it is green and black with a tiny white moose in a corner. Matobo is an amazing but unlucky place. They are so broke they have been banned from Googlemaps.

Do people scream your name and follow you everywhere you go?
Yeah! Sometimes I'm frightened by my popularity. I'm global: I'm known to captivate affluent heirs and unremarkable rodent exterminators to the same extent. Say, there are 13 boulevards with my name in three different countries, not counting Serbia and Dinotopia.

Can you tell me the square root of 256819133?
I'm pretty sure that one of the possible answers is something around 75.

Do you know any good haemorrhoids cure?
Sure, here it is my instant remedy for haemorrhoids. Mix three parts of rum, two parts of ground coffee and some vinaigrette inside a coconut, then gargle with this brew every 10 minutes for at least 3 hours.

What do you think about the international situation?
Nice one! I think it is presently quite harsh, since on our suffering world there are places where it is impossible to find even a passable margarita.

In a letter appeared on Annals of Sociological Theory, dr. Gregory Bell has observed that your songs are "a dramatic recapitulation of latest conceptual secularism". Which is your reaction?
Actually, I think that in his recent article published on Journal of Emerging Anthropology, prof. Jason Lewis completely rebutted that frivolous theory.

Your zodiac sign is Libra. May I read you your horoscope?
OK, my friends say I'm a sucker for zodiacal madness.

Unwillingly, you find yourself in a distressing position that hinders you from doing those things that you are inclined to do. You can mitigate this baleful state by secluding yourself for 6 months in a remote grotto in the most deserted spot of Colorado.
Piffle! That's incredible!

And now a bunch of numbers which are not Meat Loaf's private telephone number :
3125980500 3835233105 7237031255 5797311238 9968713474 2938735308 5400839314 3181121019 4345105106 8050453869 7472458821 9942643654 2017661175 656256341 5229322916 6691426373 2303505592 8648661304 7146468917 696627263
I queued up for years before being able to have a short appointment with Meat Loaf. The resulting interview was marvelous, like it was written by James Joice in his prime. Thus, it was highly regrettable, to put it mildly, that another inmate (maybe on purpose!) shredded my only copy! After I un-fainted, I attempted to recollect those stunning words. So, to be honest, I'm not really so certain this web page contains a perfectly truly report of our exchange, and I'm beginning to ask myself if it ever was real...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.