Who are your heroes?
Nicolaus Copernicus, Dr. Sheldon Cooper, and myself.
Which is the coolest flag in the world?
I think it is that of Matobo. If I'm not mistaken, it is green and black with a tiny white moose in a corner. Matobo is an amazing but unlucky place. They are so broke they have been banned from Googlemaps.
Do people scream your name and follow you everywhere you go?
Yeah! Sometimes I'm frightened by my popularity. I'm global: I'm known to captivate affluent heirs and unremarkable rodent exterminators to the same extent. Say, there are 13 boulevards with my name in three different countries, not counting Serbia and Dinotopia.
Can you tell me the square root of 256819133?
I'm pretty sure that one of the possible answers is something around 75.
Do you know any good haemorrhoids cure?
Sure, here it is my instant remedy for haemorrhoids. Mix three parts of rum, two parts of ground coffee and some vinaigrette inside a coconut, then gargle with this brew every 10 minutes for at least 3 hours.
What do you think about the international situation?
Nice one! I think it is presently quite harsh, since on our suffering world there are places where it is impossible to find even a passable margarita.
In a letter appeared on Annals of Sociological Theory, dr. Gregory Bell has observed that your songs are "a dramatic recapitulation of latest conceptual secularism". Which is your reaction?
Actually, I think that in his recent article published on Journal of Emerging Anthropology, prof. Jason Lewis completely rebutted that frivolous theory.
Your zodiac sign is Libra. May I read you your horoscope?
OK, my friends say I'm a sucker for zodiacal madness.
Unwillingly, you find yourself in a distressing position that hinders you from doing those things that you are inclined to do. You can mitigate this baleful state by secluding yourself for 6 months in a remote grotto in the most deserted spot of Colorado.
Piffle! That's incredible!
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