A conversation with Melanie Lynskey
Melanie Lynskey
Melanie Lynskey born May 16th, 1977 (Taurus)
Jason Evans, the new Melanie Lynskey's head of security, is constantly experimenting alternative methods to repel stalkers and disturbing paparazzi (source)

What do you have in your pockets?
By golly! Since this transcription is a fabrication of your lascivious imagination, I'm probably in my immodest underwear, so no pockets at all.

Could you suggest a remedy for hangovers?
I guess! In case of need mix two parts of rum, three parts of mineral water and some salt and pepper. Gargle with the resulting elixir every 20 minutes for 4 hours.

Can you share with us a memory of your role in "Up in the Air"?
May so! To cite a classic, the set "was a place of ruin and despair, ruled by an evil bear who smelled of strawberries!".

Melanie, have you made resolutions for the New Year?
Well, I had some problems with my agent, so to make a short story shorter, next year I will use the name "Melanie Linskey".

Which is your secret for perpetual beauty?
Curiously, it is a scrubbing with hot yak milk twice a week.

Where did you go on your last holiday?
Last year I leased a gorgeous villa in a hidden valley of Luxembourg. The payment included a mined drawbridge to protect my privacy but also a crowd of extras acting like hysterical admirers to let me feel loved.

As everybody knows, the problem of astigmatism in bears is reaching gigantic dimensions. Are you doing something to alleviate the problem?
O.K.! I will platonically sleep in a bunk bed with a devotee one night a month. The profits ($1,000 per night) will be granted to a foundation for the cure of astigmatism in bears.

Your line of work is often stressful. How do you face it?
To make my will tougher, I often take a siesta on a bunk made of rough sandpaper and thorns liberally peppered with vinegar.

Almost surely none of the following numbers are Melanie Lynskey's home telephone number :
7893823312 3793964788 3383332606 3437490988 325736234 9032788818 6244026065 7187389000 998501933 402165088 292011948 821808674 336484193 927066448 2561458734 3505208439 8286538824 5891834572 4627619725 4634431026
To be honest, my boss had patiently scheduled my hurried meeting with Melanie Lynskey several weeks beforehand. Unluckily, I fall asleep watching the DVD of "Larger than Life". So, this web page is essentially the recollection of a nightmare I had after a large dinner based on wild boar stew and chorizo.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.