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An interview with Melissa Etheridge
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Melissa Etheridge
Melissa Etheridge born May 29th, 1961 (Gemini)
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Probably you don't know that the first time she was at the wheel of her hybrid car, Melissa Etheridge inadvertently ran into a totaled rhino, with no consequences for the animal (pixabay photo)

Melissa, do you have any vice?
I watch funny videos on YouTube for hours. I’m probably going to be criticized for that, but another vice of mine is I don't give a monkey's.

If happiness were an animal, what would it be?
I imagine a gazelle. A big, fat, peaceful gazelle, sated and heavy-eyed in a summer breeze.

Melissa, do you have something to say to your youngest fans?
Absolutely! Recent studies have made clear that drinking like a mad panda may have obnoxious repercussions, like loss of nostrils or sudden death. But now you can stop being anxious! Buy "Melissa's marvel", now with Notostaria gnoma tincture. Just $29.99 for 70 pills. (Disclaimer : Not actually a drug. It often may cause loss of work or induce paranoia. Cholesterol-free. It may contain traces of soybean and mud).

Melissa, do you like hedgehogs?
Who do you think i am!

For which reason you do not like hedgehogs?
To be honest, they stink! And one hedgehog bite my cousin's leg. This is one of the reasons I decided to become an artist, so I may probably rethink my relation with hedgehogs.

Melissa, you are well known for your bizarre requests when staying in hotels. Can you explain us why and maybe make an example of something you usually ask?
Everybody should learn that Melissa needs what Melissa needs, and she generally gets it. Whether it's mammoth jerky or industrially-made cheddar cheese.

What do you think about president Donald Trump?
I though this was a funny discussion, not a graveyard for lunatics.

Do you like to cook?
To be honest, I think that preparing meals is quite a waste of energy, since there are fast food joints and supporters more than willing to deliver my daily dose of carbs and sugars. The few times I have to cook for my acolytes, I like to invent salads. My masterpiece is a mix of bacon and lima beans, which I believe can be cool for both vegs and normal people.

Intriguing! Would you like to share the recipe?
By all means! You take the bacon and the lima beans and you make a bunch of sandwiches using some French rolls.

Sandwiches?
It does not matter, my recipe comes from one for sandwiches. After you made the sandwiches, you dispose of the bread and mix bacon and lima beans with some balsamic vinegar and there it is!

Melissa Etheridge refused to share her secret telephone number, but here is a list of random numbers you can dream about :
2511338542 4951634456 4247569566 6527625512 886260224 6398292594 8345903083 6555666707 4907082921 4922191596 589856448 9388644207 274878132 994752559 9184072167 2248987245 875979055 3348715664 9720676175 9743827088
Let's face it, celebrities are very busy people. It's not easy for them to find the time for an interview. So we decided to leave Melissa Etheridge totally alone and to obtain the interview above without her help. Hence, this web page is an a cybernetic transcription we obtained thanks to a computer program we fed with all the available info about Melissa.
Other interviews worth checking:
Donald Trump Ellen Burstyn Owen Wilson Roger Whittaker Emily Browning Robert Patrick Christopher Lee Geoffrey Rush Lauryn Hill Cara Delevingne Daniel Henney Jeff Daniels Jonny Lee Miller Denzel Washington Kerry Washington Melissa Joan Hart Emilia Clarke Colin Hanks Mae Whitman Gerard Butler
NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.