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A conversation with Melissa McBride
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Melissa McBride
Melissa McBride born May 23rd, 1965 (Gemini)
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And now, before an improbable black-out, look at a lovely picture of a nice crab (pixabay photo)

Indiana Jones, Lara Croft or Professor Layton?
Indiana Jones.

What do you think about the international situation?
Cripes! It's hard to realized it when you spend your days in houses made of rainbows cuddled by worshiping fans, but there are places where it is difficult to find even a barely tolerable cosmopolitan.

If you’re at karaoke, what’s your song of choice?
My true love is Beethoven.

My informants told me you are just back from a filming location in Tibet. How was your stay?
To be honest, I spent 3 weeks in a Tibetan monastery before realizing it was not the Best Western hotel. The silver lining? I learnt to bilocate, for a couple of seconds.

Could you improvise a poem for us.
Aye! Here it is

The dog of sorrow
The large dog of sorrow
dozes on the murky meadows of emptiness
when I stare at the wreck of life.
If only it had been the pork of sorrow
we could have bacon at least.

Melissa, is there a deep meaning hidden in "The Mist"?
You bet your boots! Little money can’t buy happiness.

In an article printed on Russian Ethical Transactions, prof. Douglas Baker described your movies as "a perfect incarnation of modernistic conceptual reductionism". Any comment?
Actually, it is clear that in his interesting letter appeared on Canadian Transactions on Epistemologic Criticism, dr. Ryan Morris utterly discredited that superficial thesis.

Melissa, do you have any superpower?
You'll not believe this! I can walk on melted cheese, since I was 9. This was quite a nuisance.

I will not deceive you by falsely stating that Melissa McBride's private telephone number is listed here :
3877252596 768950348 4444008211 963276307 9428241329 9444385311 2559581635 371278120 8459459592 606376415 8941051752 4881833815 266931980 8678465909 6100028992 5379899204 3199505657 5842164396 314586241 5260076199
I sat on my bottom for weeks for a chance to have a brief talk with Melissa McBride. The resulting piece was excellent, like "Life of Pi" rewritten by Mandrake. It was highly disastrous that my ferret (on purpose!) set my only copy on fire! After I assessed the situation, I made an effort to recollect those marvelous words. Actually, to be clear, I'm not one hundred percent confident this web page is a totally truly account of what transpired during our talk, and so I'm beginning to be uncertain it actually took place...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.