Cookie Consent by An interview with Melissa Rauch
An interview with Melissa Rauch
Melissa Rauch
Melissa Rauch born June 23rd, 1980 (Cancer)
During her last scripture, Melissa Rauch has got a pernicious addiction to robin's eggs (source)

Do you like to cook?
I reckon not! But I like to create salads. My gem is a mix of pastrami and lima beans, which I assume can accomodate both vegans and normal people.

Intriguing! Would you like to share the recipe with us?
Yep! You take the pastrami and the lima beans and you make a bunch of sandwiches using some bread rolls.

It does not matter, I derived the recipe from one for a sandwich. After you made the sandwiches, you discard the bread and mix pastrami and lima beans with some Thousand Island dressing and voilà, you are done!

What do you think about the international situation?
Nonsense! I think it is presently very grim, since there are countries where it is hopeless to find even a decent cosmopolitan.

Do you know any good hangover cures?
Yes, in case of drunkness mix two parts of cider, one part of fruit drink and some mayonnaise. Drink the resulting brew every 15 minutes for 5 hours.

Can you tell me the square root of 8828560352?
According to my supporters the most appropriate answer is something around 45.

Melissa, your zodiac sign is Cancer. May I read you your horoscope?
OK, my fans say I'm a sucker for zodiacal foolishness.

You will ram into a sloshed stranger from Las Vegas, a former diversional therapist named Gregory with two left feet. He will show you a map allegedly signed by the vicious pirate Bartholomew Roberts "Black Bart", that places his treasure under a minor lake in California. Don't believe him!
Holy mackarel! You are dead on!

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Melissa Rauch's private telephone number :
474227977 454034630 439320439 8408324026 734121787 4637875933 970033518 469441014 4310922609 8208668604 6274038865 8856850893 569047432 4326389648 3481091383 3468107681 5844177058 645487759 8925755713 846193297
I patiently sat on my bottom for several weeks before being able to have an exchange with Melissa Rauch. The resulting piece was magnificent, like it was written by the ghost of J.R.R. Tolkien in his prime. Thus, it was highly unlucky, to put it mildly, that my ferret set my only copy on fire! After I recovered from a mild intoxication, I made an attempt to extract from my crumbling memory those staggering words. Actually, to be clear here: I'm not really sure this web page contains a totally truly report of our exchange, and so I'm starting to be uncertain it ever was real...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.