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An interview with Michael Caine
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Michael Caine
Michael Caine born March 14th, 1933 (Pisces)
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Because of a harmless freak accident with his dirigible, Michael Caine has lived for 4 months in the jungle. He was alone, except for his canary Bimbadoo and his strong personality (source)

In an article appeared on Croatian Ethical Journal, prof. Jason C. Bailey observed that your roles are "a tragic embodiment of newfangled conceptual transhumanism". Any comment?
It is evident that in his interesting letter published on Transactions on Transcendental Primitivism, dr. William F. Cox totally disproved that incoherent point of view.

If happiness were an animal, what would it be?
I imagine a lion. A big, fat, peaceful lion, sated and heavy-eyed in the shade of a large tree.

Michael, do you like squirrels?
You're crazy!

Why you do not like squirrels, if I may ask?
They stink! And one squirrel bite my uncle in his naughty bits. That was one of the reasons I decided to become an actor, so I may probably reconsider my position on squirrels.

Which brand of toilet paper do you use?
Since I have discovered natural products, I really can't wipe my funny parts with commercial brands anymore. My toilet paper is obtained from the fibers of Calcicisa baccata, an almost extinct bulb native of Novistrana.

Michael, do you have any superpower?
Urgh! I can transform in a red beaver, since I was 2.

Could you improvise a poem for us.
I guess so! Here it is

Everthing you took away
You took away your passion,
you took the respect away from me.
A pen, a book lost in a drawer
my only memories of you.
You took your love away from me,
all that matters you took away,
so how come your mother is here to stay?

Your line of work is often stressful. How do you face it?
To toughen my ego, I periodically meditate on a mattress made of rough sandpaper and nails.

I will not deceive you by falsely stating that Michael Caine's home telephone number is listed here :
7471987426 8127378327 990645328 4610304946 385371829 3114171274 3236284850 6227428492 9379934161 5056388910 3434033233 349644604 2660969663 2359207681 5335601234 858497660 4201903481 8820585248 909978743 8570154918
Clearly, vips are over-booked people. It's not easy for them to schedule an interview. So we decided to leave Michael Caine peacefully alone and to obtain the interview above without his help. Therefore, this web page is an an algorithmic transcription we obtained thanks to an artificial intelligence we supplied with all the available info about Michael.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.