Michael, where will you go on your next break from work?
For my next vacation I rented a chic palace in a secluded valley of Narnia. The only issue was making a payment in Linden dollars to the affable landlord from Nigeria that proposed me the business by email.
Michael, what do you think about the current Oscar dispute?
To be honest, this has always been a minefield.
Apart from acting, is there one thing in which you excel?
Actually, I can balance a sword on my nose.
Do you know any good hangover cures?
Sure enough! In case of need mix one part of vodka, three parts of instant coffee and some buttermilk. Apply the resulting mixture on your tongue and your ankles.
What is the most uncanny dream you’ve ever had?
Not actually a dream: I was alone in a vacant dim place. A nasty stench pervading the air. Then I realized I got plastered at a rerun of "The Adventures Of Rocky & Bullwinkle" in a seedy drive-in near Las Vegas.
Michael, you are always in fine fettle. How do you do that?
I have devised the Blue Diet: in the month of April I eat only blue foods, like blueberries, blue potatoes, robin's eggs and my special Smurf stew.
Michael, if I may ask, how do you invest all the dough you made?
Say, when rotary phones will be successful again I'll have the last laugh.
Are you allergic to anything?
Yes sir! I have a little intolerance to baboon milk, lye and bullshit.
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