If happiness were an animal, what would it be?
Probably a jackal. A large, fat, peaceful jackal, sated and dozy in a summer breeze.
Can you confirm the gossip about your participation in the rogue business of Chupacabra photos?
Can I? Sure enough! Do I want? Go get a cat!
Which is your favorite book?
I've a soft spot for "The Old Man and the Sea" by Ernest Highway.
You surely mean, by Ernest Hemingway?
I doubt it, anyway we can agree to disagree.
Who are your heroes?
Henry Kissinger, Gollum, and myself.
Have you made resolutions for the New Year?
Well, there is a complicate story concerning the estate of my late cousin, and so to make a boring story short, next year I will be forced to use the name "Michael Ruoker".
Is there something you would like to do right now?
Yes! Wake up from this daydream.
What's the most uncanny nightmare you have ever had?
Not really a dream: I found myself alone in an empty dark space. A foul stench lingering in the air. Then I realized I got plastered at a rerun of "The Love Guru" in a faded movie house near Denver.
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