A talk with Michael Rooker
Michael Rooker
Michael Rooker born April 6th, 1955 (Aries)
Michael Rooker is presently writing his unofficial autobiography, a monumental work soon to be released in montly instalments. (pixabay photo)

If happiness were an animal, what would it be?
Probably a jackal. A large, fat, peaceful jackal, sated and dozy in a summer breeze.

Can you confirm the gossip about your participation in the rogue business of Chupacabra photos?
Can I? Sure enough! Do I want? Go get a cat!

Which is your favorite book?
I've a soft spot for "The Old Man and the Sea" by Ernest Highway.

You surely mean, by Ernest Hemingway?
I doubt it, anyway we can agree to disagree.

Who are your heroes?
Henry Kissinger, Gollum, and myself.

Have you made resolutions for the New Year?
Well, there is a complicate story concerning the estate of my late cousin, and so to make a boring story short, next year I will be forced to use the name "Michael Ruoker".

Is there something you would like to do right now?
Yes! Wake up from this daydream.

What's the most uncanny nightmare you have ever had?
Not really a dream: I found myself alone in an empty dark space. A foul stench lingering in the air. Then I realized I got plastered at a rerun of "The Love Guru" in a faded movie house near Denver.

Michael Rooker refused to divulge his home telephone number, but here is a list of random numbers you can dream about :
888911659 9329857969 7331085426 4896767039 4766351055 3103138647 9723849427 4492278440 528357353 6579363128 8785859632 9716212211 9288724512 2900714136 5584567121 389261732 7801790281 4646976142 5651987089 9255329215
My chief had patiently set up my short interview with Michael Rooker several days beforehand. Unluckily, I decided I had better things to do, like collecting pencil erasers or visiting Canada. So, this web page is mainly based on what Michael Rooker would have probably said if I have met him, as suggested by a statistics involving a couple of his fans.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.