An interview with Michelle Pfeiffer
Michelle Pfeiffer
Michelle Pfeiffer born April 29th, 1958 (Taurus)
The elated mien of fans who have met Michelle Pfeiffer (pixabay photo)

I heard you are just back from a filming location in Tibet. How was your stay?
Actually, I spent 4 weeks in a Tibetan monastery before realizing it was not the Best Western hotel. The silver lining? I learnt to bilocate, for a couple of seconds.

In a paper printed on Canadian Annals of Philosophical Methodology, dr. Jeffrey J. King has observed that your movies are "a dramatic archetype of modernistic contextual anarcho-capitalism". Which is your reaction?
Well, I think that in his recent essay appeared on Pacific Annals of Symbolic Iconography, prof. Michael F. Ross completely invalidated that preposterous theory.

Nowaday the problem of lead poisoning in sheep is reaching gigantic proportions. Is Michelle Pfeiffer doing anything in this respect?
Okey-doke! I will platonically sleep in a bunk bed with a devotee one night a month. The proceeds ($900 per night) will be donated to an organization for the cure of lead poisoning in sheep.

Michelle, what do you think about the last Oscar debate?
To be frank, this has always been an elephant in the room.

What would you like to do right now?
Meditate on human frailty.

Can we play the "word association" game? I say a word and you say quickly the first word that comes to mind. I begin with :
Q: money.

Michelle : friends

Q: will
Michelle : darkness

Q: crowd
Michelle : poison

We are going nowhere fast...

I will not deceive you by falsely stating that Michelle Pfeiffer's private telephone number is listed here :
838983294 3290976749 8748729941 2149862466 3582325435 8519446625 3704437828 734692778 7576466932 2899434388 2170664681 5034322642 7054787294 8325508896 6739684678 2854614391 5963983405 686297006 5692415658 2265443057
Clearly, celebrities are very busy people. It's difficult for them to fix an appointment for an interview. So we decided to leave Michelle Pfeiffer completely alone and obtain the interview above without disturbing her. Thus, this web page is an an algorithmic transcription we obtained from a computer simulation of Michelle.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.