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A conversation with Michelle Rodriguez
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Michelle Rodriguez
Michelle Rodriguez born July 12th, 1978 (Cancer)
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In a brief state of trance, Michelle Rodriguez has undersigned a petition against baby pandas (pixabay photo)

As everybody knows, the problem of malaria in kangaroos is attaining huge dimensions. Are you doing something to mitigate the problem?
I guess! I will chastely sleep in a bunk bed with a devotee one night every two weeks. The proceeds ($900/night) will be donated to an organization for the cure of malaria in kangaroos.

Do you have any new tattoos?
Yes! I have a blue wombat on my right buttock. It implements a tracker, so I can be retrieved if I get lost in a storm of snow, but unfortunately it works better if I'm slightly undressed.

Who were you in your first school play?
Not my best memory. It was a play on the life of Mark Twain. I played Doctor Doom until somebody got smart.

What do you think of the problem of global warming?
I've already expressed my thoughts in a letter published on Canadian Journal of Emerging Linguistics.

Do you know Lisa F. Hernandez (a former intensive care specialist, now a judge) from Stamford?
No, I don't, but my cousin has been engaged to her for 4 months. Then there was half a scandal about the odd suicide of a former lover, so their engagement came to a hasty end.

Could you deny the gossip about your involvement in the flimsy crisis of Yeti photos?
Diddums! You have an inexplicable desire to pop your clogs, if you understand what I mean. Well, you know, I know a guy who knows a guy that for $2000,... Nevermind. You like surprises, don't ya?

What would you like to do right now?
Walk away unarmed.

According to some witnesses, you have been in an embarassing position with a famous person whose name or gender I've not the permission to publish. Care to comment?
I deny any such "situation", expecially one with R.V..

I may have a photo.
Well, the photo has surely appeared spontaneously...

Spontaneously? I do not understand.
Yes, probably some stray photons spontaneously produced a completely random picture in which you mistakenly tagged me. For example, given the right conditions, your parents or your car could "spontaneously" blow up. Are we clear now?

Now that I look at it better, this is a photo of my pet hedgehog with a wig...

Michelle Rodriguez refused to let me know her private telephone number, but here is a list of random numbers you can dream about :
644342595 7735998690 503602831 4408899446 7442417315 7618620888 241492886 5256383522 624783667 9939127718 3085713397 5104919849 3181569519 728674505 6010444444 9419810515 3951470635 5236870523 8567674933 714002527
To be frank, my director had lined up my short conversation with Michelle Rodriguez days beforehand. Unluckily, I decided I had more interesting things to do, like breeding earthworms or learning Polish. So, the interview above is mainly the elaboration of a dream that followed after a dinner of beans and cabbage stew.
Other interviews worth checking:
Donald Trump Evangeline Lilly Joe Cocker Emily Mortimer Jim Caviezel Damon Wayans Jr. Oscar Isaac Marisa Tomei Austin Mahone Lady Gaga Enya Elizabeth Banks Saffron Burrows Kurt Russell Stevie Wonder Adele Henry Cavill Cheryl Denise Richards Ryan Hurst
NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.