A conversation with Michelle Rodriguez

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Michelle Rodriguez born July 12th, 1978 (Cancer)

And now, just because it's nice, look at a sweet photo of a cute squirrel (pixabay photo)

Michelle, which is your method for everlasting youth?
Only few know it is a daily sponging with lukewarm cement.

How famous do you think you are, on a scale of one to ten?
I don't know. I think I'm a one in Nepal, but an eight in Fresno.

If happiness were an animal, what would it be?
In my dreams it is a kangaroo. A big, fat, serene kangaroo, well fed and somnolent in the shade of a large tree.

Michelle, how do you invest the considerable fortune you make?
If you want to become rich fast, I can organize a meeting with some guys from Colombia who can double your stake. All you have to do is give them a photo of your kids as a sign of your good faith.

What are your feelings about the current USA president?
I gave assurance to my mom I would not swear, so I'd pretend I did not hear the question.

Could you improvise a poem for us.
Absolutely! Here it is

The hamster of sadness
The eerie hamster of sadness
perishes on the foggy fields of hallucination
while I look in the eye my planet mourning.
If only it had been the pork of sadness
I could have bacon at least.

What is your opinion about the controversial issue of global warming?
My opinion is that global warming is a messy matter. Anyway, my supporters will certainly be pleased to know that my future manor will be at least 70 feet above the sea-level.

Do you have any vice?
I’m addicted to videogames. Well, perhaps you are going to criticize me for that. Fortunately another vice of mine is I couldn't care less.

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Michelle Rodriguez's private telephone number :
7421628891 8428727968 481266668 7458514052 9489596714 3636063749 9915654575 9890965739 929258059 7363606472 4552787872 9096642740 8890540333 7363004619 558041952 2882046908 4118608142 8962606436 5274839480 5933941882

I scheduled a brief talk with Michelle Rodriguez months in advance. The resulting transcription was amazing, like it was written by the ghost of Leo Tolstoj at his best. So, it was highly deplorable that my neighbor by accident (I assume) set my only copy on fire! After I came out from stupor, I struggled to recollect those marvelous words. Actually, to be honest here: I'm not really confident this web page is a totally factual chronicle of what transpired during our conversation, and so I'm beginning to be uncertain it ever took place...

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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.

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