A conversation with Milla Jovovich
Milla Jovovich
Milla Jovovich born December 17th, 1975 (Sagittarius)
Right in the middle of his last public speech, Mitt Romney has illogically maundered about Milla Jovovich for 23 full minutes for no reason whatsoever (source)

When you were a little girl, did you see yourself as a professional actress?
Yes! Even though it actually was my second choice. First one was pope. Or maybe roadkills collector, I could never decide.

I read that you will soon be busy with a charity football match. Can you tell us why'd you decide to undertake such a titanic effort?
I had to. Because of the astral conjunction, you know.

And how long have you been feeling an urge to fight myopia?
Between you and me, I couldn't care less about it.

You appear to be always so full of life and sprightly. Do you also have a dark side?
It's hard to admit it, but I do. I think that every person has two sides. At times, when I see a colleague, I shudder with aversion and rage darkens my heart. And then, without warning, I sense the need to shutter those gazing eyes for good. And then there is my dark side... You do not want to discover it.

Have you made plans for the New Year?
Actually, I have some legal troubles regarding my contract, so to make a short story shorter, next year I will use the name "Milla Juvovich".

If I may ask, how do you invest the money you make acting?
Remember, when VHS tapes will be popular again I'll have the last laugh.

Are you aware of the rumors about you and the elk appearing in your last movie?
It wasn't my fault, and whatever rumour you heard about it has surely been overemphasized by the media.

Where will you go on your next holiday?
For next summer I leased a posh manor on the secretive hills of Zubrowka. The only complication was finding a way to make a transfer in bitcoins to the easygoing landlord from Russia that contacted me about business.

Almost surely none of the following numbers are Milla Jovovich's private telephone number :
9547070035 500250243 813376652 5457572526 282102560 2180909081 5683326601 280240612 5699768975 9882826220 5511886894 895919054 495428292 5207461633 3409479419 6877217820 9882407292 5138448507 663131930 9500447148
My boss had patiently set up my hurried meeting with Milla Jovovich many months beforehand. Regrettably, I realized at the last moment that I had more interesting things to do, like learning Chinese or collecting light bulbs. So, this web page is mainly the impression of a nightmare that ensued after a dinner based on cabbage stew and beans.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.