yut.me
SAME >
OTHER >
< INDEX
A talk with Monica
< INDEX
SAME >
OTHER >
Monica
Monica born October 24th, 1980 (Scorpio)
tweet
fb
photo
According to some dissidents Vladimir Putin is a great fan of Monica. He has invited her for a 4 months stay in his summer residence. (source)

We are here tonight with a special guest, Monica, who just survived the mammoth task of her last album. Hi, Monica, and welcome to Crunch Your Celebrity!.
I say it was about time you folks invited me. I saw Macaulay Culkin the other night and, honestly, I did not like it a bit.

Apart from singing, is there something you do exceptionally well?
Well, I can move my ears in synchrony.

A well-known person you think to as an imaginary friend?
As a poll suggests, Ludwig van Beethoven, because of our cool hair style. In my ideal world we both love cute opossums.

What’s your worst defect?
Some say that I have a predisposition to yell abusive commentaries, but they are just hopeless morons.

Monica, which is your favorite fruit?
It is called "Monica's prodigy". During one of my peregrinations in the Australian jungle, I uncovered an unremarkable shrub unknown to botanists, now named Lomaphylax serrulata, which every 5 years blooms and produces fruits whose flavor reminds of bananas and olive oil. It may seem uninviting, but it may easily cause addiction.

What’s in your pocket right now?
I say! A tricky question. Since this interview is a figment of your lascivious neurons, I'm in my seductive underwear, so no pockets at all.

What do you think about the international situation?
Heck! I think it is unfortunately very bleak, since on our torn world there are countries where it is difficult to find even an almost decent frankfurter with or without catchup.

Could you improvise a song for us.
Okey-doke! Here it is

Everthing you took away
You took away your passion,
you took the respect away from me.
A pen, a photo alone in a drawer
the tired reminder of you.
You took away all that I had,
all that matters you took away,
so how come your uncle is here to stay?

Monica refused to share her home telephone number, but here are a few random numbers you can dream about :
419421590 9816726843 3454913569 5444323140 7587427054 4520216113 3392286532 6183036456 2794009668 7114168751 893278335 565828253 648880093 6174790478 6781288374 2507959357 908734857 9159604462 501681446 360681089
To be sincere, my director had patiently scheduled my hurried rendezvous with Monica days beforehand. Unluckily, I realized I had more interesting things to do, like visiting Canada or grooming my pet ocelot. So, the interview above is mainly based on what Monica would have probably said if I have met her, as indicated by a telephonic poll involving a couple of her fans.
Other interviews worth checking:
Donald Trump Denise Crosby Joel Kinnaman Sean Connery Rupert Grint Sam Worthington Lionel Richie Vincent D'Onofrio Rhona Mitra Sean Diddy Combs Jack Gleeson Guy Pearce Jaleel White Henry Cavill Jewel Natalie Portman Jim Sturgess Patrick Warburton Tim Curry Freddie Prinze Jr.
NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.