A conversation with Natalie Cole
Natalie Cole
Natalie Cole born February 6th, 1950 (Aquarius)
Because of a fatal misunderstanding, Natalie Cole has undersigned a protest against baby pandas, thereby referred to as "those giant rodents" (pixabay photo)

If you could choose an animal to reincarnate in, which one would it be?
I'd have to say a bear.

Natalie, do you have something to say to your youngest fans?
Okey-doke! Modern studies have proved that sniffing paint like an anteater may have sour repercussions, like loss of hair or sudden death. But now you can stop being frightened! Buy "Natalie's sensation", now with Lapigamia arborescens syrup. Just $19.99 for 100 pills, only in the best Bulgarian corner stores (Disclaimer : Not actually a cure. It often may cause loss of money or induce paranoia. Gluten-free. One pill provides 100% RDA of snake oil).

Natalie, what are your feelings about president Donald Trump?
I'm somehow troubled, since I heard that president Trump wants to devise a way to extract oil from sewage.

If happiness were an animal, what would it be?
I imagine a baboon. A large, fat, quiet baboon, well fed and sleepy in the shade of a large tree.

Could you suggest a remedy for indigestion?
Here it is my guaranteed relief for indigestion. Mix two parts of vermouth, three parts of lemonade and some mayonnaise in the skull of a bear, then gargle with the resulting elixir every 25 minutes for at least 3 hours.

Where do you go when you die?
In a sarcophagus, most of the times, but if you are incinerated then your ashes can waste space in somebody's cabinet of curiosities.

If I may ask, do you have any peculiar phobia?
Might as well! I suffer with an irrational fear for Smurfs, due to a bizzarre accident occurred to my aunt. I'm also scared by roller coasters, but that is quite normal.

In an article printed on Bulgarian Transactions on Modern Mentalism, prof. Edward Z. Garcia observed that your songs are "a dramatic embodiment of newfangled pragmatic neoclassicism". Any comment?
Actually, I think that in his last paper appeared on European Annals of Quantitative Criticism, dr. Dennis Z. Morgan completely rebuked that depthless point of view.

And now a bunch of numbers which are not Natalie Cole's private telephone number :
6457300193 2428004022 8042367454 3492682593 6892774234 5359126682 8567750790 2781629413 4809310662 4896858692 8446047762 2583056213 706831332 3559573883 7824055729 892811648 9657573822 2531151088 9403081680 3706496965
Let's face it, vips are over-booked people. It's not easy for them to fix an interview. So we decided to leave Natalie Cole alone and obtain the interview above without her help. Hence, this web page is an an extrasensorial transcription we obtained via a professional telepath from Seattle.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.