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A conversation with Niall Horan
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Niall Horan
Niall Horan born September 13th, 1993 (Virgo)
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Niall Horan has obtained an honorable mention in one of the past editions of the Beard and Moustache Championship (source)

Can you tell me the square root of 3011382096?
According to my supporters one of the possible answers is something around 37.

Do you have any new tattoos?
Actually I do! I have an orange prairie dog on my shoulder. It is radioactive, so I can be rescued if I am kidnapped, but unfortunately it works better if I'm somehow undressed.

Do you like to cook?
Don't be silly! But I like to improvise salads. My all time favorite is a mix of salami and seitan, which I assume can be OK for both vegans and normal people.

Intriguing! Would you like to share the recipe?
You bet your boots! You take the salami and the seitan and you make a bunch of sandwiches using some Italian focaccia.

Italian focaccia?
Do not mind, I obtained the recipe from one for a sandwich. After you made the sandwiches, you discard the bread and mix salami and seitan with some ranch dressing and you are done!

Your zodiac sign is Virgo. Are you a typical Virgo?
Maybe! I'm sometimes moody, tireless, irresolute and indulgent. My friends say that I'm also a little contradictory but that I think it is usual in artists.

Niall, which is your method for flawless skin?
Curiously, it is a monthly soaking into lukewarm jello.

Do you know the "word association" game? I tell you a word and you say another word. I begin with :
Q: rain.

Niall : tears

Q: penitence
Niall : good

Q: people
Niall : electric chair

We are going nowhere fast...

And now a bunch of numbers which are not Niall Horan's private telephone number :
5413029097 4626461727 4794743120 6681425700 673595224 8028728810 5429519149 645201465 9935459582 8334040098 4976761190 630290356 622054740 6881294135 9854414089 2676301606 8613478640 8072595544 4023152092 3122242622
To be honest, my supervisor had scheduled my brief appointment with Niall Horan many weeks beforehand. Unfortunately, I realized I had more interesting things to do, like breeding scorpions or learning Tibetan. So, the transcript above is essentially the elaboration of a dream I had following a copious dinner based on liver sausages and raw onions.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.