A conversation with Nick Offerman
Nick Offerman
Nick Offerman born June 26th, 1970 (Cancer)
Nick Offerman has been less than delighted by the true position and appliances of the posh resort he carelessly chose from the web site of the "No Way Travels" tour operator (pixabay photo)

Have you made plans for the New Year?
My plan is to obtain a license for steering my hovercraft.

What do you think of global warming?
I have deducted that this alleged global warming anomaly is an invention of Zubrowka's operatives.

What motivates you to act?
Basically, I like the sound of my voice.

How is your relationship with movie directors?
Generally I have no problems, except that time in which (probably due to a double strike) a director begged me to eat a mouthful of dirt, which was somehow absurd, since that scene was not in the script.

Do you have any scar?
Yes, I do. I have a little macaron shaped scar on my right heel, a remainder of my tough encounter with a maniacal moose.

Could you tell us something about the plot of your next movie?
Why not! The tentative title of the movie is "Cynthia, Albert and Trimbaroo". There are a woman and a man. They live together in Las Vegas. Cynthia is a hydrographer while Albert is a FBI agent. When Cynthia's pet moose Trimbaroo contracts chickenpox, they decide to rise hell to cure the moose.

Nick, which is your secret for flawless skin?
It is an ablution with tomato sauce once a month.

What is your opinion about president Donald Trump?
You are just a bit devilish, but I promised my fans I would not talk dirty again, so I'd pretend I did not understand your question.

After extensive reserch I concluded the following list doesn't contain Nick Offerman's private telephone number :
8499178328 8338852810 6798335262 511554694 5350049055 4911365617 8948158934 5195860267 2549800399 5196509300 4117903553 3478260315 3605175104 7205684171 7736961045 490818312 5896629075 6846106062 9942437429 2215311602
I lay in wait forever for a chance to have an interview with Nick Offerman. The resulting transcription was mind-blowing, like "A Christmas Carol" rewritten by the Lone Ranger. Thus, it was very disastrous, to put it mildly, that my armadillo by accident set my only copy on fire! After I regained mental sanity, I struggled to recapture those wondrous words. Actually, to be clear here: I'm not one hundred percent certain this web page is a perfectly precise account of our appointment, and thus I'm starting to doubt it actually happened...
Other interviews worth checking:
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.