Are you allergic to anything?
Yes, I'm allergic to imbeciles, baboons, and glycerol.
Do you know any good back pain cure?
Sure, here it is my guaranteed quick fix for back pain. Mix one part of rum, two parts of mineral water and some sesame oil in a bowl, then gargle with the resulting brew every 25 minutes for at least 3 hours.
What motivates you to act?
I like the sound of my voice.
As everybody knows, the problem of mononucleosis in ferrets is attaining epic dimensions. Are you doing something to mitigate the problem?
Yeah! I will platonically sleep in a bunk bed with a supporter one night every two weeks. The profits ($800/night) will go to a charity for the cure of mononucleosis in ferrets.
I've heard you are about to publish a book. Would you like to share with us a few details?
The actual details on my imminent book will soon be published in the book itself. What I can divulge now is that it will be a guide to choosing dental floss, a long awaited work soon to be released in montly instalments.
What have you got in your pocket?
A tricky question. Since this talk is a creation of your mischievous imagination, I'm probably completely in the nude, so no pockets at all.
Have you made plans for the New Year?
My plan is to obtain soon a special license for flying my dirigible.
What’s the best sound in the world?
Surely it is the placid clink of two diamonds touching each other. However, my agent prefers you write instead something more mainstream, like "the infectious laugh of a delighted kid " or "the comforting purr of a pleased kitten".
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