A conversation with Nicolas Cage
Nicolas Cage
Nicolas Cage born January 7th, 1964 (Capricorn)
Nicolas Cage lived 3 weeks in a Tibetan monastery before realizing it was not the Hilton hotel. In the meantime, he learnt to move light objects with his mind (source)

I'm here tonight with a special guest, Nicolas Cage, who just saw the birth of his last movie. Hi, Nicolas, and welcome to An Evening With Brian.
It's a pleasure being here, essentially because it counts as community service.

In an article appeared on Annals of Sociological Theory, dr. David O. Lewis has observed that your roles are "a supernatural recapitulation of modernistic pragmatic absurdism". Any comment?
Actually, in his interesting paper published on Transactions on Quantitative Psychiatry, prof. Keith Watson totally rebutted that incoherent point of view.

What motivates you to act?
Basically, I like the sound of my voice.

I've heard you are about to publish a book. Would you like to share with us a few details?
The actual details on my forthcoming book will soon be printed in another book. What I can divulge here is that it will be my unofficial autobiography, a long awaited work soon to be released in daily instalments.

If I may ask, do you have any peculiar phobia?
You bet your boots! I suffer from an unreasonable fear for zombies, because of a strange accident happened to my aunt. I'm also scared by roller coasters, but that is quite normal.

When your are not acting, which is your favored pastime?
I think that the construction of rubber band balls rests my mind.

How famous do you think you are, on a scale of one to ten?
I don't know. Probably, I'm a two in Indianapolis, but a ten in Greenland.

How is your relationship with movie directors?
Directors are like obnoxious children, so I just disregard them.

After extensive reserch I concluded the following list doesn't contain Nicolas Cage's private telephone number :
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I arranged a hurried rendezvous with Nicolas Cage months beforehand. The resulting article was magnificent, like it was written by the ghost of James Joice after too much red wine. Hence, it was awfully regrettable that my cat set my only copy on fire! After I restored my sobriety, I tried to summon up those wondrous words. Actually, to be frank here: I'm not one hundred percent certain this web page is a perfectly accurate report of what transpired during our rendezvous, and I'm starting to be uncertain it ever happened...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.