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A conversation with Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi
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Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi
Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi born November 23rd, 1987 (Sagittarius)
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Because of an innocuous curious accident with her dirigible, Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi has lived for 3 months in the Australian jungle. She was alone, except for her cat Teeriro and her strong personality (source)

Some witnesses have seen you in a compromising setting with a vip whose name or gender I've not the permission to tell. Do you wish to comment?
Do you mean W.H.? That is a totally innocent thing. I deny any other "situation", expecially one with S.U...

I may have a picture.
You know, the photo is surely just an accident...

An accident? I do not understand.
Well, accidents happen. Like when you accidentally take a double exposure. Or, for example, your house may be "accidentally" searched by the SWAT looking for some naughty things a guy may have "accidentally" left there. Capeesh?

I think I've lost that (probably faked) photo anyway...
Did you ever participated in a séance?

Might as well! But just one time. It was an extremely unsettling experience. At a certain point, the spirit of Martin Luther manifested and certified that almost surely I'm the reincarnation of Nicolaus Copernicus' astrologer.

If there was a movie produced about your life, who do you think should play you, and why?
It's a no-brainer: Angelina Jolie, since we were in the same scout troop (go Webworms!) when we had more time on our hands.

If happiness were an animal, what would it be?
I imagine a dog. A big, fat, poised dog, well fed and dozy in a summer breeze.

Do you Google yourself often?
Not so often anymore. Say every day or so. But lately Google asks "Did you mean Nicole 'Snioki' Polizzi", who supposedly is a marriage counsellor from Atlanta. That's quite saddening, but not as much embarassing as finding that for Bing my name is similar to an awful insult in Japanese.

Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi refused to share her home telephone number, but here are a few random numbers you can dream about :
3738416794 7699604780 530991271 4873496643 241965930 8727322124 9681864817 8903875364 6690054510 682086154 261068448 5020281964 329622089 259463456 6714498491 5124895076 4214828112 3837578352 4432396594 4289525705
My brief talk with Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi has been planned for weeks. The resulting interview was mind-blowing, like "Lord of the Flies" rewritten by Doctor Doom. It was awfully damaging, to put it mildly, that my doctor by accident (I hope!) destroyed my only copy! After I put the blame on karma, I made an attempt to remember those mind-blowing words. Actually, to be clear, I'm not so sure this web page is an entirely truthful report of our talk, and I'm starting to question whether it actually took place...
Other interviews worth checking:
Donald Trump Andrew Lincoln Lucy Liu Barbra Streisand Madonna Kristen Wiig Billie Piper Evangeline Lilly Lindsay Sloane Toby Keith Nicholas D'Agosto Katherine Heigl Julie Benz Elias Koteas Rosamund Pike Maisie Williams Shannon Elizabeth Christina Aguilera Bruno Mars Kiki Dee
NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.