A talk with Nicole Kidman
Nicole Kidman
Nicole Kidman born June 20th, 1967 (Gemini)
Few people know that Nicole Kidman has requested a patent for a self-lubricating sofa. (source)

When you were a little girl, did you see yourself as a professional actress?
Really? I did not. My father and I decided that I would have become a carpenter. But, you know, things don't always work out the way you imagined.

Nicole, what's your favorite vice?
It is telling the truth when it no longer seems like a virtue. See, I’m probably going to be condemned for that, but another vice of mine is not giving a damn.

Nowaday the problem of stomach flu in monkeys is attaining epic proportions. Are you doing something to alleviate the problem?
I think I will! I will chastely sleep in a bunk bed with a fan one night a month. The proceeds ($1,500 per night) will go to a foundation for the cure of stomach flu in monkeys.

Do you have a favorite book?
I really love "Catch-22" by Joseph Teller.

You surely mean, by Joseph Heller?
Probably my cover had a typo, anyway we can agree to disagree.

Nicole, you have been seen in an embarassing position with a celebrity whose name and whose gender I'm not allowed to expose. Do you wish to comment?
Do you mean W.Y.? That is a completely platonic thing. I deny any other "situation", expecially one with N.L...

I may have a picture.
You know, the photo is probably just an accident...

An accident? I do not understand.
Yes, accidents are known to happen all the time. Like when you "accidentally" fake a photo. Or, for example, your office may be "accidentally" searched by the SWAT looking for some illicit material somebody may have "accidentally" left there. Do you understand?

Now that I look at it better, this is a picture of my cat with a wig...

Almost surely none of the following numbers are Nicole Kidman's secret telephone number :
435515777 9639837483 7447269191 2666572510 2547167668 8656817599 6214275425 937957504 6909419677 902388506 6474189025 7971607278 8998644548 534438675 7079306880 5184371589 916910006 8264386389 3430133391 760335956
To be sincere, my boss had lined up my appointment with Nicole Kidman weeks beforehand. Regrettably, I realized at the last moment that I had better things to do, like visiting Canada or growing medicinal herbs. So, the transcript above is mainly based on what Nicole Kidman would have probably said if I have met her, as suggested by a telephonic poll involving a couple of her fans.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.