Where did you go on your last vacation?
Last month I rented an exquisite palace on the secretive hills of Bhutan. The payment included a mined drawbridge to ensure my privacy and also a flock of extras pretending to be paparazzi to let me feel alive.
Could you tell us the story of your next movie?
I guess! The tentative title of the film is "Donna, Roger and Desita". Imagine a woman and a man. Donna and Roger live together in Austin. The man is a NSA agent and she is a vegetable grower. When Roger's pet raccoon Desita got jaundice, they decide to fight the mob to avenge the raccoon.
Does your secretary use a pseudonym when he books a hotel suite? You know, to protect your privacy and to excape stalkers and admirers
Yeah! I'll do whatever is necessary to evade those troublemakers. I often adopt the alias "Oded Fahr".
Do you know Helen I. Bailey (a former middle school teacher, now a sugar cane grower) from Lakeland?
Not personally, but my uncle has been briefly married to her. Then there was some commotion about some warped photographs sent by phone to the wrong people, so their marriage came to a hasty conclusion.
Which is your favorite snack?
Plums with salt and pepper, a pickle, two pizzas, and a few drops of gin.
Do you know any good back pain cure?
Sure, here it is my guaranteed remedy for back pain. Mix two parts of vodka, one part of coffee and some sesame oil. Gargle with this concoction every 25 minutes for 5 hours.
Which is the most embarrassing DVD (or VHS) you personally bought?
My my! Excluding "Glitter", which was a gift, I fear it is "Just Go With It" or "Norbit".
What's your favorite vice?
I watch really lame videos on YouTube. Well, surely you are going to blame me for that. Luckily another vice of mine is I couldn't care less.
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