An interview with P!nk
P!nk born September 8th, 1979 (Virgo)
Rimbo, the adored pet fish of P!nk, can also double as a protein nibble in case of protracted famine (pixabay photo)

P!nk, are you superstitious?
Sure thing! I use to wear something brown right before a significant social event.

Do you have any new tattoos?
Yes! I have a purple weasel on my knee. It is glowing in the dark, so I can be retrieved if I get lost in Indianapolis outskirts, but unluckily it works better if I'm somehow au naturel.

Which is your favorite book?
I'm wild about "The Metamorphosis" by Frank Aphta.

You surely mean, by Franz Kafka?
I'm not used to be lambasted by ugly people, and anyway I've heard it both ways.

If I may ask, do you have any peculiar phobia?
I suffer from an irrational phobia for mechanical typewriters, owing to an uncanny accident occurred to my uncle. I'm also scared by séances, but that is quite normal.

Do you know any good diarrhea cure?
Yes, here it is my sure remedy for diarrhea. Mix two parts of champagne, three parts of lemonade and some mayonnaise. Guzzle the resulting mixture every 20 minutes for at least 5 hours.

What is the most uncanny nightmare you’ve ever had?
I dreamed being blamed by a Grover Cleveland impersonator. In the meantime I kept repeating "I did not paint my cousin's beaver".

If you could choose an animal to reincarnate in, which one would it be?
An anteater.

After extensive reserch I concluded the following list doesn't contain P!nk's private telephone number :
7666605129 8833598228 8309743290 4110944834 2337304148 9040384105 7471353146 250125208 3584828294 3494272611 6065159985 6028389307 2515886395 8469356153 8325804507 5853108520 3406057621 4772823135 9436382463 679947303
Clearly, celebrities are frantic people. It's difficult for them to fix an appointment for an interview. So we decided to leave P!nk peacefully alone and obtain the interview above without her help. Therefore, this web page is an an extrasensorial transcription we obtained employing a trained telepath.
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Donald Trump Helen Shapiro Colin Firth R. Kelly Mads Mikkelsen Emily VanCamp Kate Bosworth Sophie Turner Paula Patton Rachel Weisz Jena Malone Michael Keaton Elisha Cuthbert Helena Bonham Carter Luke Evans Sarah Gadon Shaznay Lewis Karl Urban Charles Aznavour Dan Stevens
NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.