Could you refute the hearsay about the heist of the Kraken photos?
Humanity can't stand the truth!
Do you ever Google yourself?
Say every two hours. But lately Google says "Including results for Paolo Cante", who supposedly is a retired photographer from San Francisco. That's quite annoying, but not as much heartbreaking as finding that according to Bing my name sounds like a horrible obscenity in Yiddish.
What is the most uncanny nightmare you have ever had?
Not really a dream: I was in a deserted gloomy space. A nasty taste in my mouth. Then I remembered I got plastered at a screening of "My Boyfriend's Back" in a faded movie house near Dallas.
If you’re at karaoke, what’s your song of choice?
My true love is Beethoven.
Your line of work is often stressful. How do you face it?
To toughen my character, I often meditate on a hammock made of rough sandpaper and rusty barbed wire liberally dusted with vinegar.
Which brand of toilet paper do you use?
Common brands are for common people. My personal hand-made toilet paper is obtained from the petals of Onocistapa polygama, an elusive parasitic orchid which grows only in Borneo.
Are you superstitious?
Will do! I never wear purple and black cloths together right before a significant occasion. Obviously not today.
If there was a movie produced about your life, who do you think should play you, and why?
It's a no-brainer: Stephen Amell, since we were in the same scout troop (go Webworms!) when we had more time on our hands.
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