Patrick, what's your favorite vice?
I pretend to listen when people talk to me. Well, perhaps you are going to blame me for that. Fortunately another vice of mine is I couldn't care less.
Are you aware of the rumors about you and the boxcar appearing in your last movie?
I'm going to repeat it for the last time: I was never near that boxcar.
Which is your favorite karaoke song?
My real love is Bach.
In a letter printed on Russian Epistemologic Studies, dr. Thomas K. Wright has observed that your movies are "a dramatic summary of latest contextual operationalism". Any comment?
Well, I think that in his interesting article published on Annals of Psychiatrical Inquiry, prof. Brian Wilson totally rebuked that implausible point of view.
Do people scream your name and applaud everywhere you go?
Exactamundo! I'm the best thing since sliced bread. My strength is that I'm universal: I'm known to move successful tycoons and unhappy accountants in the same manner. Say, there are 15 streets with my name in three different countries, not counting Glubbdubdrib and Botswana, which I'm not sure are actually countries.
Have you ever had a supernatural experience?
Most of the times I consume super-natural eco-friendly products, because I do pay attention to my beauty and my followers. For example, this week I have an obsession for kale chips and dried jellyfish, both very tasty on BBQ brisket.
What do you think about the next Oscar shitstorm?
To be frank, this is a minefield.
When you were a little boy, did you see yourself as a professional actor?
All right! Even though it actually was my second choice. First one was king of Nicaragua. Or maybe IT clerk, I could never decide.
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