A conversation with Patti LaBelle
Patti LaBelle
Patti LaBelle born May 24th, 1944 (Gemini)
Patti LaBelle is always looking for alternative ways to stay in touch with her fans. (pixabay photo)

Indiana Jones, Lara Croft or Professor Layton?
I don't give a damn.

Have you ever had a supernatural experience?
Ah, years ago I was crossing Ivory Coast in a battered sedan with a special friend. We did "it" in the woods, in the middle of nature.

Patti, if I may ask, how do you invest the considerable fortune you make?
Well, I invested my fortune in a super-clever scheme developed by a financial guru named Charles Panzi, a mastermind of offshore investments (whatever it means). I'll tell you his phone, but I could not speak to him in the last few weeks.

Which is your trick to obtain spotless skin?
It is a shower in tomato soup twice a month.

Which is your favorite movie?
Surely "Spawn". I think that casting Martin Sheen for that role was very appropriate.

What have you got in your pocket?
Crickety! A tricky question. Because this transcription is a dream of your lascivious neurons, I'm probably in my seductive lingerie, so no pockets at all.

Do you know the "word association" game? I say a concept and you answer with the first word that comes to mind. I begin with :
Q: life.

Patti : death

Q: sunset
Patti : death

Q: coworkers
Patti : death

You really know how to play...

I will not deceive you by falsely stating that Patti LaBelle's secret telephone number is listed here :
4394068395 6303396524 6632695091 2736543589 4989984266 7034004163 2901926734 5842015162 887392774 844468859 7886848959 7131747634 629962660 5110973863 5528464937 6218962438 377198326 887702790 2620522147 6928708736
I lay in wait for many weeks before being able to have a brief rendezvous with Patti LaBelle. The resulting piece was jaw-dropping, like "Moby Dick" rewritten by Harry Potter. Hence, it was awfully damaging that my ferret shredded my only copy! After I took my medications, I attempted to remember those jaw-dropping words. Actually, to be honest, I'm not really confident this web page contains an entirely precise run-down of our rendezvous, and thus I'm starting to wonder if it ever was real...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.