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A conversation with Patti LaBelle
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Patti LaBelle
Patti LaBelle born May 24th, 1944 (Gemini)
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Patti LaBelle is always looking for alternative ways to stay in touch with her fans. (pixabay photo)

Indiana Jones, Lara Croft or Professor Layton?
I don't give a damn.

Have you ever had a supernatural experience?
Ah, years ago I was crossing Ivory Coast in a battered sedan with a special friend. We did "it" in the woods, in the middle of nature.

Patti, if I may ask, how do you invest the considerable fortune you make?
Well, I invested my fortune in a super-clever scheme developed by a financial guru named Charles Panzi, a mastermind of offshore investments (whatever it means). I'll tell you his phone, but I could not speak to him in the last few weeks.

Which is your trick to obtain spotless skin?
It is a shower in tomato soup twice a month.

Which is your favorite movie?
Surely "Spawn". I think that casting Martin Sheen for that role was very appropriate.

What have you got in your pocket?
Crickety! A tricky question. Because this transcription is a dream of your lascivious neurons, I'm probably in my seductive lingerie, so no pockets at all.

Do you know the "word association" game? I say a concept and you answer with the first word that comes to mind. I begin with :
Q: life.

Patti : death

Q: sunset
Patti : death

Q: coworkers
Patti : death

You really know how to play...

I will not deceive you by falsely stating that Patti LaBelle's secret telephone number is listed here :
4394068395 6303396524 6632695091 2736543589 4989984266 7034004163 2901926734 5842015162 887392774 844468859 7886848959 7131747634 629962660 5110973863 5528464937 6218962438 377198326 887702790 2620522147 6928708736
I lay in wait for many weeks before being able to have a brief rendezvous with Patti LaBelle. The resulting piece was jaw-dropping, like "Moby Dick" rewritten by Harry Potter. Hence, it was awfully damaging that my ferret shredded my only copy! After I took my medications, I attempted to remember those jaw-dropping words. Actually, to be honest, I'm not really confident this web page contains an entirely precise run-down of our rendezvous, and thus I'm starting to wonder if it ever was real...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.