A talk with Paul Young
Paul Young
Paul Young born January 17th, 1956 (Capricorn)
His typical breakfast when he wants to stay light (pixabay photo)

Could you improvise a lyric for us.
Maybe! Here it is

The sheep of grief
The big sheep of grief
dwindles on the dreary fields of emptiness
when I look in the eye this planet madness.
If only it had been the pig of grief
I could have bacon at least.

Don't you think it is time you write a book on your life?
Indeed! It is regrettable that I have so little time to put down the words, as we authors like to say. Last week I've read the condensed recap of "The Picture of Dorian Gray", and I found it quite acceptable. Therefore, I've ordered my agent to pay a visit to the author - a certain Oscar Wilde - because I truly need a ghost writer, but for the time being I've not received any answer.

You seem to be always so positive and effervescent. Do you also have a dark side?
I do. I think that everybody has a dark side. At times, when I bump into another artist, disgust makes my bones quiver and my heart grows darker. And all of a sudden, I feel a compulsion to kill his jeering smirk. And then there is my dark side... You do not want to know about it.

Paul, have you made plans for the New Year?
My plan is to obtain soon a special license for steering my hovercraft.

Can you tell me the square root of 887341166?
I could tell you, but then I'd have to smother you.

If I may ask, do you have any particular fear?
But of course! I suffer with an irrational phobia for venetian blinds, after a strange accident occurred to my cousin. I'm also scared by dark places, but that is quite normal.

Do you have any new tattoos?
Yep! I have a violet gazelle on my forearm. It is radioactive, so I can be salvaged if I get lost in a storm of snow, but unluckily it works only if I'm slightly undressed.

On a scale of one to ten, how famous do you think you are?
I'm not sure. I think I'm a four in Greenland, but a nine in Las Vegas.

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Paul Young's home telephone number :
4397094222 9233306626 9089880502 9243743140 9245956178 4563593209 2317481932 410154144 5323234974 5987300646 426069233 4585023848 7113482854 358935303 253342016 5744371322 756927450 2959529093 6704063492 6175680722
Clearly, vips are very busy people. It's difficult for them to find the time for an interview. So we decided to leave Paul Young completely alone and we obtained the interview above without disturbing him. Hence, this web page is an an esoteric transcription we obtained thanks to a professional mentalist from Fresno.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.