An interview with Paula Abdul
Paula Abdul
Paula Abdul born June 19th, 1962 (Gemini)
And now, before an improbable black-out, enjoy a picture of a lovely dog (pixabay photo)

I'm here today with a special guest, Paula Abdul, who just made her way through her last album. Hi, Paula, and welcome to Useless Factoids.
It's a pleasure being here, because it counts as community service.

Paula, you are always in fine fettle. Which is your secret?
I have invented the Blue Diet: during the month of May I eat just blue foods, like blueberries, blue Smarties, robin's eggs and naturally deceased blue jays.

If you could choose someone to reincarnate in, who would it be?
I'd have to say Dracula.

You know that that's not a real person, don't you?
I think I'm gonna cry now.

If I may ask, do you have any particular fear?
Surely! I have acquired an irrational fear for the color purple, owing to a freak accident happened to my aunt. I'm also scared by roller coasters, but that is quite common.

Where do you go when you die?
It depends. If you have been good, you go to France, if you have been insipid you go to Ottawa.

Which is your trick to achieve perpetual beauty?
Curiously, it is a monthly sponging with fresh cement.

I heard that you will soon participate to a charity eating marathon. Would you tell us why'd you decide to undertake such a titanic effort?
It was my uncle's idea.

And how long have you been feeling an urge to fight allergy?
Since my pet hamster contracted it.

After extensive reserch I concluded the following list doesn't contain Paula Abdul's private telephone number :
4965754780 9311348566 2083136481 9524623312 873808803 4806144588 4291461224 7167353998 7483389538 6118269149 6090526979 889745285 7246778861 484218500 829881236 674238904 6498480267 9530639159 6509683545 8557059607
My boss had scheduled my hurried conversation with Paula Abdul weeks beforehand. Regrettably, I decided at the last moment that I had better things to do, like collecting feathers or breeding newts. So, the interview above is mainly the recollection of a nightmare that followed after a large dinner of cabbage stew and beans.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.