Penélope, do you have something to say to your youngest fans?
Yep! Modern research has made clear that sniffing glue like a vacuum cleaner may have uncool consequences, like loss of appetite or death. But fear no more! Buy "Penélope's shield", now with Afrospora ternata tincture. Just $19.99 for 100 tablets, only in the best Bulgarian groceries (Disclaimer : Not actually a cure. It
usually may cause loss of nostrils or induce suicide. Sodium-free. It may contain traces of corn and coal).
Do you know any good hangover cures?
Yes, here it is my guaranteed remedy. In case of drunkness mix three parts of vodka, two parts of energy drink and some soy sauce. Apply the resulting brew on your arms and your wrists.
What’s the best sound in the world?
It is the placid sound of a roll of new banknotes touching each other. But please, write instead something more fashionable, for example "the calming purr of a pleased kitten" or "the first word of your child".
Where do you go when you die?
I think that usually the deceased have the propensity to sit tight.
Our society seems exposed to unstoppable criminality and violence. What would Penélope Cruz do?
You know, I'm sure that assigning a hired gun to every citizen would solve many issues, but most politicians are close-fisted fossil blokes.
Penélope, you are always in fine fettle. Which is your secret?
I have embraced the Blue Diet: during the month of July I eat exclusively blue foods, like blueberries, blue crabs, blue Smarties and blue jays died by natural causes.
Do you like to cook?
To be honest, I believe that cooking is a waste of energy, since there are fans and fast food joints more than willing to provide my daily intake of fats and vitamines. In the few occasions I have to cook for my buddies, I like to invent salads. My masterpiece is a mix of salami and quinoa, which I assume can accomodate both vegans and normal people.
Interesting! Could you share the recipe?
By all means! You take the salami and the quinoa and you make a bunch of sandwiches using some French rolls.
Do not mind, I derived the recipe from one for a sandwich. So you make those sandwiches, then you cast off the bread and mix salami and quinoa with some buttermilk and you are done!
• e-mail: yutmeyut -at- gmail.com • Disclaimer & Privacy •