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An interview with Peter Dinklage
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Peter Dinklage
Peter Dinklage born June 11th, 1969 (Gemini)
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An estranged relative, a secret lover or an innocent bystander? Well, nobody actually seems to know, but a pixellated photo escalates suspense! (pixabay photo)

Do you Google yourself often?
Say every day or so. But lately Google often asks "Did you mean Peter Donklage", who apperently is a former zoologist from Tucson. That's quite discouraging, but not as much worrisome as learning that according to Yahoo my name sounds like a terrible blasphemy in Russian.

Peter, you have been seen in a particular position with a star whose name or gender I'm not authorized to release. Care to comment?
Do you mean U.Q.? That was an absolutely platonic thing. I deny any other such "situation", expecially one with I.J...

I may have a photo.
You know, I think the photo is just an impression...

An impression? I do not understand.
Well, just an impression. Like when you have the impression everything is totally OK in your little life and then without a reason your car and your mother burst into flames. Are we on the level?

Now that I look it under a better light, the photo is indistinct...
What’s the best sound in the world?

It is the comforting clink of two diamonds touching each other. But please, write instead something more mainstream, like "the first word of your toddler" or "the heartening giggle of an angelic kid ".

I read that you will soon be busy with a charity football match. Would you tell us why'd you decide to undertake such an effort?
I had to for a small clause in my last contract, which prescribed me to increase the number of charity events I attend.

And how long have you been feeling a need to make people aware of beriberi?
WHAT? Beriberi!? That's not what I was told! I have to call my agent.

I will not deceive you by falsely stating that Peter Dinklage's private telephone number is listed here :
8254282825 7933025495 6454438850 412970773 2472080003 4782113607 844615770 8516501318 433919885 4810447277 3620997904 849414417 692979310 2127118597 670871927 6166501742 524100498 8327779573 517506477 2661427708
I have a confession to make. My chief had arranged my meeting with Peter Dinklage days beforehand. Unfortunately, I realized I had more interesting things to do, like growing weeds or visiting Canada. So, the transcript above is mainly based on what Peter Dinklage would have probably said if I have met him, as suggested by a statistics involving a couple of random people.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.