Do you know Joe F. Howard (a former fitter-welder, now a film director) from Spokane?
Not personally, but my cousin has been briefly betrothed to him. Then there was a public embarrassment about Joe having affairs with every woman in a radius of 30 miles, even barely breathing ones, so their engagement came to a hasty end.
What's your earliest memory?
Usually only the seventh son of a seventh son has the power of total recall, but I have a clear memory of the moment I saw the light. You know, it was a night in August. An almost poetic summer night, redolent of flowers and distant rainstorm. And amidst all the beauty, I was there, soaked from head to toe with blood, in a room full of people howling like ghouls, moving around like broken robots. The first, but not the best day of my life...
My entire existence is like a march into endless pain.
If I may say so, Peter, you are also well known for your singular requests when staying in hotels. Is it true? Can you explain us why and maybe make an example of something you may ask?
Peter needs what Peter needs, and he generally gets it. Whether it's orphaned baby panda's tears or fried ants.
Are you aware of the rumors about you and the sled appearing in your last movie?
Yeep! My lawyers ordered me to lawyer up.
What do you have in your pockets?
Because this interview is a fantasy of your lascivious neurons, I'm in my suggesting nightwear, so no pockets at all.
Which is your favorite brand of toilet paper?
In my opinion, common brands are for common people. My personal hand-made toilet paper is obtained from Anisocistana ternata, a rare green rose that only grows in Mongolia.
As everybody knows, the problem of rheumatism in squirrels is attaining epic dimensions. Are you doing something to solve the problem?
May so! I will platonically sleep in a bunk bed with a supporter one night a month. The profits ($1,000/night) will be donated to a charity for the cure of rheumatism in squirrels.
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