An interview with Phoebe Cates
Phoebe Cates
Phoebe Cates born July 16th, 1963 (Cancer)
In her will, Phoebe Cates has stipulated that her ashes should be scattered on the planet Mars, possibly by hand. (source)

What are your feelings about president Donald Trump?
I imagined this was a playful discussion, not a boring one.

What’s in your pocket right now?
Goodness gracious! Because this interview is a fabrication of your lascivious neurons, I'm probably in my alluring nightwear, so no pockets at all.

Do you have any new tattoos?
Actually I do! I have a white spider on my elbow. It is glowing in the dark, so I can be salvaged if I get lost in Austin outskirts, but unfortunately it works only if I'm a little disrobed.

Do you have a favorite brand of toilet paper?
I really can't stand industrial brands. My hand-made toilet paper is obtained from the new leaves of Tetracalyx mammosa, an elusive orchid which grows only in the Amazon rainforest.

What do you think about the international situation?
I think it is unfortunately quite grim, since on this suffering Earth there are places where it is hopeless to find even a just passable frankfurter.

Can you share with us a memory of your role in "Gremlins 2: The New Batch"?
You bet your boots! They do not put together a cast like that anymore! There are a lot of convincing reasons for that...

If you didn't grow up to become known as the actress Phoebe Cates, what do you think you would have done?
I would have enrolled at Purdue University, signed up for Fried Foods Chemistry 101, failed, and bailed out a month after that with an online poker addiction.

Have you ever had a supernatural experience?
Every day! I mostly consume super-natural eco-friendly products, because I do pay attention to my beauty and our planet. For example, this week I have an obsession for miso and shiitake mushrooms, both amazing on BBQ pork ribs.

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Phoebe Cates' private telephone number :
3186818197 3232061319 4668074074 7850321676 355513094 2080414566 7915056538 4866212147 778525736 6213552970 5189465016 8745024190 664850409 2994137305 423807231 7801311472 3105913684 8523422696 408882759 5022691813
To be frank, my director had patiently set up my little talk with Phoebe Cates many weeks beforehand. Regrettably, I fall asleep watching a rerun of "Max Payne". So, the transcript above is mainly based on what Phoebe Cates would have probably said if I have met her, as suggested by a telephonic poll involving a couple of random people.
Other interviews worth checking:
Donald Trump Lady Gaga Ashley Greene Robert Carlyle Bob Geldof Matt Smith Allison Janney Chloë Grace Moretz Rodrigo Santoro Asa Butterfield Dr. Dre Jon Bon Jovi Tiffany Brandon Routh Joanna Garcia Swisher Colin O'Donoghue Kevin Bacon Judd Nelson Chris Pine Piper Perabo
NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.