A talk with Queen Latifah
Queen Latifah
Queen Latifah born March 18th, 1970 (Pisces)
During an unsettling gathering, Queen Latifah was transiently metamorphosed into a rather amiable goat (pixabay photo)

You appear to be always so cheerful and radiant. Do you also have a dark side?
It's difficult to confess it, but I do. Everyone has a dark side. Sometimes, when I meet a colleague, hate makes my legs tremble and I grit my teeth. And all of a sudden, I sense a compulsion to shutter those lecherous eyes for good. And then there is my dark side... You do not want to know it.

What do you think about the international situation?
It's hard to realized it when you live in houses made of rainbows, but on this battered Earth there are places where it is hopeless to find even an almost passable moijto.

What’s the best sound in the world?
Between you and me? It is the gentle crackle of a bunch of new banknotes touching each other. However, my agent prefers you write instead something more mainstream, for example "the relaxing purr of a satisfied kitten" or "the first word of your son".

Do people scream your name and ask for autographs everywhere you go?
Pfft! The mass loves me so much. I really make no distinction as to race, sex, or religion: I'm known to cheer eminent moguls and obscure crime scene cleaners to the same extent. You know? There are 12 plazas with my statue in two different countries, not counting Novistrana and Latvia.

If you could choose a someone to reincarnate in, who would it be?
Johann Sebastian Bach.

According to some witnesses, you have been in a compromising situation with a star whose name and whose gender I'm not authorized to announce. Have you something to add?
I deny any "situation", expecially one with S.N..

I may have a photo.
You know, the photo is surely just an accident...

An accident? I do not understand.
You know, accidents occur. Like when you "accidentally" fake a photo. Or, for example, your house may be "accidentally" searched by the FBI looking for some improper things a dude may have "accidentally" left there. Are we on the level?

Let's forget about that non existent photo...

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Queen Latifah's home telephone number :
3333181122 4880092666 969477080 9019836554 4095329455 5775383386 4781534520 5245096162 8919256659 8686973573 479858785 862581349 6699944292 7661008805 5289989547 9473859148 622632855 2579837771 4291500143 8521793138
My brief interview with Queen Latifah has been lined up many weeks in advance. The resulting piece was impressive, like it was written by the ghost of J.R.R. Tolkien under the influence of too much brandy. It was awfully regrettable that my ferret by accident ate my only copy! After I tried to wake myself up, I tried to recall those excellent words. To be aboveboard here: I'm not one hundred percent sure this web page is a completely truthful account of what transpired during our conversation, and so I'm beginning to ask myself if it actually took place...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.