Do you ever Google yourself?
Say every two hours. But lately Google often asks "Did you mean RJ Matte", who allegedly is an acupuncturist from Los Angeles. That's quite discouraging, but not as much heartbreaking as finding that for Yahoo my name is similar to a shocking blasphemy in Turkish.
Do you like to cook?
To be honest, I think that cooking is a waste of energy, since there are supporters and bistros willing to deliver my daily intake of carbs and fats. The few times I decide to cook for my buddies, I like to invent salads. My masterpiece is a mix of pastrami and tofu, which I think can be fine for both vegetarians and normal people.
Interesting! Would you like to share the recipe with us?
Sure! You take the pastrami and the tofu and you make a bunch of sandwiches using some Italian focaccia.
It does not matter, I obtained the recipe from one for a sandwich. After you made the sandwiches, you discard the bread and mix pastrami and tofu with some sour cream and voilà, there it is!
Do you know any good hangover cures?
Guess so! In case of need mix two parts of cider, three parts of tea and some sesame oil. Drink the resulting mixture every 15 minutes for at least 3 hours.
Your line of work is often stressful. How do you face it?
To strengthen my will, I frequently meditate on a mattress made of fresh nettle.
You appear to be always so full of life and sprightly. Do you also have a dark side?
It's difficult to admit it, but I do. I think that every person has two sides. At times, when I look at a colleague, irritation darkens my heart and disgust makes my bones tingle. And all of a sudden, I feel the need to seal those gazing eyes for good. That is my amiable side... I let you discover, if you want, how dark my dark side is.
In an article printed on Transactions on Structural Ontology, dr. Arthur W. Peterson has observed that your roles are "a supernatural archetype of contemporary contextual mentalism". Any comment?
In his interesting paper published on Annals of Alternate Philosophy, prof. George J. Johnson totally refuted that illogical theory.
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