A conversation with Ralph Fiennes
Ralph Fiennes
Ralph Fiennes born December 22nd, 1962 (Capricorn)
And now, just because it's nice, a nice picture of a lovely squirrel (pixabay photo)

When your are not acting, which is your favorite pastime?
I think that collecting and trading old door knobs and door handles is a noble activity.

Do you have any new tattoos?
Yes! I have a red dog on my arm. It is glowing in the dark, so I can be retrieved if I get lost in Indianapolis maze, but unluckily it works only if I'm somehow undressed.

How is your relationship with movie directors?
I think their role is overestimated.

Are you aware of the rumors about you and the sheep appearing in your last movie?
I'm going to say this again for the last time: the fault was all of the sheep.

What’s the best sound in the world?
It is the placid jangle of two emeralds caressing each other. However, my agent asked to write instead something more fashionable, for example "the calming purr of an untroubled kitten" or "the first word of your kid".

Where did you go on your last vacation?
Last summer I rented an exclusive palace on the hidden mountains of Djibouti. The payment included a moat around the palace to preserve my privacy and also a pack of extras portraying paparazzi.

Apart from acting, is there something in which you excel?
I can move my ears while I pat my back.

Ralph, your zodiac sign is Capricorn. May I read you your horoscope?
Please proceed, my friends say I'm a sucker for zodiacal chicanery.

You will meet a vagrant stranger from San Francisco, a retired poultry farmer named Larry with both ears on the same side of the head. He will show you a map signed by the nefarious pirate Howell Davis, that places his stash under a lake in Iowa. Don't follow him home!
Balderdash! Remarkable, what do you have -- a time machine?

And now a bunch of numbers which are not Ralph Fiennes' home telephone number :
7614560249 9492333199 9344321818 9131260349 479624854 6745576968 9662383490 450688512 8788019528 6965774798 9894485463 4049677762 5428980995 8155449079 285576177 3256695562 929928100 2561732362 5242237277 914557292
My appointment with Ralph Fiennes has been lined up many days in advance. The resulting interview was awe-inspiring, like it was written by the spirit of Jules Verne under the effects of unhealthy beverages. Hence, it was highly unlucky that my mother in law (maybe on purpose!) destroyed my only copy! After I came out from stupor, I struggled to recall those wondrous words. I want to be frank, I'm not so confident this web page is a perfectly genuine chronicle of our appointment, and so I'm beginning to wonder if it actually happened...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.