An interview with Randy Newman
Randy Newman
Randy Newman born November 28th, 1943 (Sagittarius)
A reluctant travel companion, a close neighbor or a bystander? Well, we have not the slightest idea, but a redacted face boosts drama! (pixabay photo)

Do you use a pseudonym when you arrange for a hotel suite? You know, to protect your privacy and to duck stalkers and reporters
Absolutely! We do whatever is necessary to steer clear of those nuisances. We often employ the alias "Randy Niwman".

I read that you will soon participate to a charity eating marathon. Can you tell us why'd you decide to undertake such an embarrassing effort?
I had to for a little clause in my last contract, which forced me to fake an interest in good deeds.

And how long have you been feeling a need to make people aware of jaundice?
Since I was a little boy, and my parents would argue about it.

Apart from singing, is there something you do better than anybody else?
You know, I can move both my ears while I pat my back.

What’s the best sound in the world?
Surely it is the placid swish of a roll of new banknotes kissing each other. But please, write instead something more crowd-pleasing, say, "the first 'dad' of your tot" or "the contagious giggle of a delighted child ".

Do you know Michelle X. Price (a former driller, now a musician) from Charleston?
No, I don't, but my uncle has been briefly married to her. Then there was a rumor about the funny suicide of a former lover, so their marriage came to an abrupt ending.

If I may ask, do you have any particular fear?
O.K.! I suffer from an unreasonable fear for zombies, because of a freak accident occurred to my uncle. I'm also scared by tigers, but that is quite common.

What do you think about the international situation?
Very well! I think it is quite harsh, since there are countries where it is impossible to find even a barely tolerable moijto.

After extensive reserch I concluded the following list doesn't contain Randy Newman's home telephone number :
555102975 528786211 5618248402 932784935 6582853858 3252518406 4723375354 269321692 9653816505 948687813 4930148838 224491663 6538649288 296038618 8277570095 5994572166 9439297460 8278093112 8257168943 6085241975
Celebrities are very frantic people. It's not easy for them to fix a meeting for an interview. So we decided to leave Randy Newman peacefully alone and to obtain the interview above without his help. Hence, this web page is an an esoteric transcription we obtained via a certified mind reader from Chicago.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.