An interview with Rashida Jones
Rashida Jones
Rashida Jones born February 25th, 1976 (Pisces)
Last week, Rashida Jones has sold her renowned light bulbs collection to a capricious tycoon for $122,000 (source)

When you were a little girl, did you see acting as your profession?
Sadly no, and I still dream that, one day, the Philadelphia Inquirer will accept my commentaries.

If I may ask, do you have any peculiar phobia?
I suffer with an unreasonable fear for dog shaped clouds, because of a curious accident happened to my cousin. I'm also scared by Ouija boards, but that is quite normal.

When your are not on the set, which is your main diversion?
I think that coloring troll dolls' hair rests my mind. I prefer to paint them in orange and brown.

Do you know Jeffrey Torres (a former jeweller, now a clinical haematologist) from St. Petersburg?
No, I don't, but my cousin has been briefly married to him. Then there was a public embarrassment about some kinky photographs sent by phone to the wrong people, so their marriage came to a hasty conclusion.

You seem to be always so radiant and cheerful. Do you also have a dark side?
It's hard to confess it, but I do. Each of us has two sides. At times, when I look at another artist, my sight blurs and irritation darkens my soul. And all of a sudden, I sense a compulsion to seal forever those lecherous eyes. And then there is my dark side... You do not want to know about it.

Rashida, if I may ask, how do you invest the considerable fortune you make in your career?
I invested quite a bunch of money in a bullet-proof scheme devised by a financial guru named C. Pinzi, a pro of hedge futures trading (whatever it means). I'll tell you his phone, but he did not return my calls in the last weeks.

Which is your favorite snack?
Chicken legs with ketchup, a vegetarian burger, two tomatoes, and a tumbler of champagne.

Could you improvise a poem for us.
Of course! Here it is

Everthing you took away
You took away the respect,
you took the emotions away from me.
A book, a pen lost in a drawer
my only memories of you.
You took your love away from me,
all and everything you took away,
so how come your cousin is here to stay?

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Rashida Jones' secret telephone number :
8634848819 603447311 3784343654 2077077259 9801887581 624667530 358009236 4714915330 259015494 2273152669 484355265 719019738 3099019095 2854301792 432591998 270838522 6858399090 4631281287 663803270 9304587281
My director had patiently planned my brief rendezvous with Rashida Jones many weeks beforehand. Regrettably, I got stoned watching a rerun of "Soul Plane". So, this web page is essentially the elaboration of a dream that ensued after a generous dinner of liver pâté and raw broccoli.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.