A conversation with Renée Zellweger
Renée Zellweger
Renée Zellweger born April 25th, 1969 (Taurus)
And now, before an improbable black-out, enjoy a nice picture of a crab (pixabay photo)

What do you think about president Trump?
I assured my niece I would not utter profanities openly, so I'd pretend I did not understand the question.

If you’re at karaoke, what’s your song of choice?
My real love is Beethoven.

Which brand of toilet paper do you use?
In my opinion, common brands are for common people. My personal hand-made toilet paper is obtained from Pachymella obscura, a very scarce blue poppy that only grows in Tibet.

Could you tell us which is your earliest memory?
I have a clear memory of the moment I saw the light. You know, it was a day in April. An almost perfect spring day, redolent of flowers and wet bark. And I was there, soaked from head to toe with blood and other bodily fluids, in a room full of screaming people. The first, but not the best day of my life...

Life seems better now.
Who gives a damn rat? My entire life is like an amble into perpetual pain.

Which is your trick to obtain flawless skin?
Only few know it is a bath in fresh tomato soup twice a day.

Could you improvise a lyric for us.
Might as well! Here it is

The panther of sorrow
The uncanny panther of sorrow
sleeps on the foggy mountains of insanity
as I stare at the wreck of life.
If only it had been the pork of sorrow
I could have bacon at least.

Could you tell us something about your future project?
I'm on the set of the sequel of "Just Go With It", a timeless gem whose value has not been fully recognized.

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Renée Zellweger's home telephone number :
516886031 338455635 3058491555 6333777115 4412107648 5627454801 5264781271 5068867351 975854924 6319117679 281540778 2326607118 5254383947 6233502222 552238520 5393953434 8715943167 739394292 4502930053 348501041
To be honest, my boss had planned my brief rendezvous with Renée Zellweger months beforehand. Unluckily, I realized at the last moment that I had more interesting things to do, like visiting Canada or growing mosses. So, the interview above is mainly the elaboration of a nightmare that ensued after a heavy dinner based on cabbage stew and beans.
Other interviews worth checking:
Donald Trump Sam Riley Christopher Walken Morgan Freeman Johnny Galecki Lake Bell Eliza Taylor Anna Camp Lucy Lawless Brooklyn Decker Taylor Schilling Katie Cassidy Sam Claflin Toby Kebbell Jewel Kevin Spacey Ron Howard Vera Farmiga Idina Menzel Taylor Swift
NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.